10 Years I Loved You Most || Yoongi x Reader

°Intro°

Im not Innocent, but at the same time im not guilty either... I just love the person I love so much

In this relationship, Im a coward

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"Yoongs??? are you awake??" I softly called out to him, my head resting on his chest while his arm was wrapped around my waist. It was 2 am .... I wanted to talk to him about something important... but I-I just dont seem like this is the right time to do so. I want to tell you everything that I've been feeling and thinking about but im too scared. Too scared of what you might say or think of me afterwards.. even more scared that you might leave me. Shutting my mouth and not saying another word I just closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. 

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I dont want to call you...

Im afraid that i'll break down... im afraid to see you cry...

Im afraid of being in my house all alone.

I fear for getting hurt again.

Terrified... to lose everything.

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Leaving the building I needed to tell him... I needed to tell him everything. Pulling my phone out and holding it up to my ear, *RING RING RING* (please answer....) "Hello???" your voice sounded tired on the other side of the phone... (what have you been up to??? why do you sound so tired?? haev you been working too much???) "It started snowing today... Winter finally arrived" "Bab- shhhh. Sorry I was in the middle of working on an important project right now..." I know that your with someone else right now... "-Is there something that you need from me???" "Are you coming home tonight??? I-I was thinking we could do one of those movie nights we used to do before..."

"Hey is everything alright???" "I was maybe thinking we could also make dinner together like before... what do you thi-" "Hey Y/n.. sorry I wont be able to come home tonight. Im going overtime here at work. Dont wait up for me... I gotta go. Bye" (I knew you were going to say that... but every time I hear it... my chest starts to hurt even more) Hearing him hang up I held my phone tightly in my hands while tears slowly flowed down my cheeks.

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Min Yoongi, from the very first time I saw you..

I knew that there was nothing I want more than to just be with you...

I would do anything for you.

You said you loved me and would never do anything to betray me... You remember saying that right??

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"Y-Y/n... please remember that I would never... never do anything that would hurt, betray or disappoint you... I swear on my LIFE!" I looked at him with furrowed brows but sent him a warm smile. "I know Yoongs... dont worry. I know you would never hurt me" he looked at me with his bright smile while tears escaped his eyes. (I know you did something.. I wont get mad at you.. I could never get mad at you.)

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"I love you..." you were the one who said it first.

You said that you love me, but why has your love brought me so much sadness and pain?

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Sitting alone in 'our' shared apartment I stood outside on the balcony.. leaning on the railings. Feeling the cold wind hit my face, I wrapped my arms around my body trying to warm myself up. (If only you were here with me....) While looking out into the distance I felt a warm liquid flow out of my nose. (Blood...) sighing, I wiped the blood with my finger.. (If only you knew... If you only knew that im going through... If you knew would you come back to me?)

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I couldnt tell you this...

I was afraid of telling you this...

But

I have leukemia

and Im going to die soon...

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.

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Would you miss me if I one day just left and never came back?

(A/N: Hello my amazing readers!! This is the intro to my new book! I made this book with the inspiration of a webtoon called "10 Years That I Loved You the Most" Go check it out.. its a webtoon that I had finished reading recently but it hit my in my feelings really hard. Anyways! I really hope you all support and love this book like with all my other ones! LOVE YOU ALL!!!! -author nim)