10 Years I Loved You Most || Yoongi x Reader

°Ch.3°

Y/N Pov
During dinner with Jungkook I met one of his best friends Seokjin and Hoseok, a few years older than me but they were both bright and handsome, getting to know each other we talked about cooking but Jin also had some ridiculous dad jokes that he told numerous times during dinner. But overall my night with them was well spent and Im glad Jungkook invited me... or else I would have been at home probably crying again. We all went our separate ways after dinner, entering the apartment building I thanked Jungkook for dinner before walking towards my place. While walking I kept my gaze on the ground just thinking about what to do now... While thinking I suddenly bumped into someone.

"Im so sorry, I didnt see you- Y/n???" (That voice.... that voice that I missed so much...) shooting my head up I was met with the brown eyes I had deeply fallen in love with. "Y-Yoongi???" Glancing down at his hands I could see he was holding a bag with clothes "You taking your clothes???" I commented and he nodded "Y-Yeah Im going to be staying overnight at one of my co-workers place and needed some spare clothes to change into...uhmmm why are you coming home so late???" he suddenly questioned me back. "Oh my friend invited me out for dinner..." "Why?" he suddenly stated looking bothered. (???) "O-Oh its just that when I make di-" "So you're making them dinner? Ugh nevermind... " I tried to reassure him but he waved me off.

Thinking that this could be a good time to tell him I opened my mouth to speak "Yoongi.. I was actually wanting to talk to y-" "-Oh look at the time... anyways I better get going. I'll come home tomorrow night" he cut me off before turning on the heels of his shoes. 

Without letting me say anything he quickly left. (I was about to ask if we could talk... I wanted to tell him...) Shaking my head I entered the apartment and was greeted by silence and darkness. "All alone again...." I whispered to myself while closing the door behind me before kicking off my shoes. Walking through the quiet apartment I took a shower and changed into my pajamas. *VRR VRR* hearing my phone vibrate I saw that I had received a text message from Namjoon.

Namjoon
Miss Y/n... sorry if its late but I wanted to check up on you. How are you feeling?

Me
Hello Dr.Kim.. thank you for checking up on me. Im alright.

Namjoon
Thats good. Please let me know if your symptoms start to worsen. Also please consider going through with Chemo.. it will really help you. I know I've been pestering you about it everyday but Im just really trying to help you.

Me
Thank you for reminding me but please give me more time... goodnight

Turning off my phone I opened the balcony door and walked out... the cold snow under my bare feet I leaned on the railings but instead of looking out into the distance I looked down... (What if I jump....) Negative thoughts suddenly consuming my mind. "Dont do it." A voice spoke up snapping me out of my thoughts. (what???) Looking around I turned and saw my neighbor leaning on his railings while holding what looked like a cigarette between his lips. "I wasnt going to...." I mumbled while looking back down. "You thought about it though right? You thought 'what if I jump'... am I wrong???" he turned to me with a painful expression while throwing his smoke over the railing.

"Your right.. I did think about it. How everything thats been happening in life could just end by a simple jump, but I dont ever think I could actually do something like that" His painful expression softened. "Good...Honestly I think people should value their lives more... no matter what situation your going through..." It was silent between us until he continued "-also sorry if I scared you I didnt mean to" Shaking my head, we looked at each other until he spoke up "What are you doing outside in your pajamas anyways???" he questioned. "Ah... I just wanted to get some fresh air, and I had some stuff on my mind.. how about you? what are you doing in your pajamas??"

he looked down seeing that he was only in shorts and a muscle shirt but he just shrugged "The cold never really bothered me... Im kind of used to it. Plus I needed some fresh air too" giggling at his answer I decided it was time for bed. "Well I better go to sleep... good talk??" "Oh my name is Jeonghan, Yoon Jeonghan" he sent me a warm smile. "My name is Y/n.. well then Jeonghan.. you better get inside too or you might catch a cold. Also smoking isnt good for you..." he raised his brows and chuckled before breaking off a piece of the 'cigarette' "Dont worry.. its just candy. I dont like smoking.." Laughing at how dumb I was to assume he was smoking we both waved gooobye to each other before I stepped back into my apartment room. 

Yoongi Pov
"Yoongi baby what took you so long???" Jisoo whined while crossing her arms and puffing her cheeks. "Sorry Jisoo.. I had some extra things I needed to get done. Dont worry im all yours now.. go to bed I'll join you after changing" Jisoo nodded and waltzed off to the bedroom. Quickly changing I joined her in bed, her head resting on my chest I turned to the night stand and saw the book I took from Y/ns. Grabbing the book I scanned the cover and read the title 'The Bright Hour' After scanning the book I quickly opened it and saw a sticky note on the page of Chapter 1. (????) "What is stage 1??" I whispered, ignoring the sticky note I began to read.

After hours of reading it... I finally came to the end of the book. The author wrote about her fight with cancer and her final moments. Closing the book I furrowed my brows "Why would Y/n like a book like this...???" I whispered to myself but taking a look at the novel again I noticed something sticking out on the top... it was a folded piece of paper. Pulling the paper out I unfolded it and immediately knew it was Y/ns writing.

.

Date: xx/xx/xx
Stage 1: I wasnt aware of what was happening to my body.. yeah I got fevers and I somehow always felt dizzy from time to time but I never really thought much about it. I always just thought I just caught the common cold. But I was lucky enough to have him. He was there to take care of me.. we both kind of thought that I must have came down with a really bad flu...

.

Date: xx/xx/xx
Stage 2: The fevers werent as frequent as before but now I've been having trouble breathing lately... My chest has been feeling tight for quite some time now and I havent had much of an appetite when it comes to eating. But when I do eat i dont eat too much because even after a small bite I just cant eat. I also noticed that my period flow has been longer than usual, I've been having times when I would bleed without a reason.. He is here to help me but hes been in and out of the apartment for some time now... I dont know where he goes.

.

My eyes furrowed while reading all of this and I was curious to why she was writing as if she had cancer... I know she doesnt because if she did she would have told me right??? Continuing to read the small paper I turned it over and the sentence I read made my heart start to race...

.

Date: xx/xx/xx
Stage 3: Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia...

.

Staring at the paper in my shaky hands I couldnt believe what I had just read. This is all probably some sick joke right? I mean if this was real Y/n would have definitely told me about her condition... Folding the paper and putting it back into the book I placed it back on the night stand and turned off the lamp... (Ill talk to her about this when I get the chance... )

(If this is all true, why didnt she tell me?)