Black Demon's Witness (Black butler fanfic)

Chapter 52: Nineteen in Darkness

I couldn't sleep.

Even if I tried, my eyes would shoot open.

It's been three hours now, and my room is as dark as night outside my window. I sat up and sighed heavily. I couldn't see a thing. Is this how it always looks when I'm asleep? Why can't I go to bed? I can't think straight anymore. All I've been thinking about was him. All day!

Sebastian!

Sebastian!!

Sebastian!!!

It's been a year now, and I'm just now noticing my actions. I can't understand how I feel about Sebastian at all! My heart raced at the thought of him. His dashing red eyes staring back into my soul, and his body that was pressed against mine from the other day. I grabbed the sides of my head with my hands and tried to calm my heart rate. I can't be feeling this! Not for a demon. The intense pain that grew in my stomach was becoming unbearable. I sat my pillow on my lap and held it close to my chest as tears fell from my eyes. This can't be happening!

I love him....

"Madame, it's time to wake up." The bright light made my eyes wince, and I sat up. I looked up at Sebastian, and he frowned down at me. Why was he so upset? He came closer and held my head up gently. "My, your eyes are red."

I tensed up and felt a rush of tears rise in my eyes again. I pushed him away and turned my head, refusing to meet his gaze again. My heart couldn't take anymore! "It's nothing!"

"At least," Sebastian grabbed a towel and began dabbing at my eyes, "let me keep it from swelling." I sat still and held my head for him. My eyes were closed, and when they opened, I averted my eyes to the floor. I was crying all night, and I hadn't noticed until now. I couldn't sleep at all, and my heart was aching. My body began to tremble at the memory of him staring at me. I love his handsome face and his pure blood red eyes, but I can't love a demon. It's only going to end in sorrow. Sebastian shook his head and sighed. "Were you crying?" He asked and stared at me with curiosity. I kept my head hanging low and pressed my lips together. Sebastian raised my head, and our eyes met, making my heart weep in pain. "It's nothing. Just a nightmare." I replied and pushed his hand away. I stood up and ran into the restroom, locking the door behind me. My heart wouldn't stop beating! Could he hear it pounding in my chest? Why is my heart hurting so much? This feeling makes want to cry even more, but I can't cry now. I have to forget about it! I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my red eyes. How stupid. I had cried over him.

"Madame Jallerie!" Mrs. Ferguson clapped her hands together, catching my attention. Her blonde hair was pulled into a tight bun with a straight bang on her right side. She wore a loud yellow dress with same color shoes. The cane she held in her left hand twirled in circles as she paced back and forth. I stood tall with the big book in my hands and waited for her instructions. "Page four hundred thirty eight, read poem number three!" She snapped, and I flipped through the pages. I came across the page and skimmed to the third poem. I took a deep breath and read the cursive writing.

"The dark night descends upon us, two of us whom fell in love that day. Our souls were passionately entwined and your words were spoken ever so sweetly. Soon enough, your love burned away. Sending me into a lifetime of hell and regret. You were not the man I fell for and had left me for death. Although you are slipping ever so far, I can feel your presence in my shadows, slowly pulling me into darkness. But alas, I finally see you again. You are not whom you had wished to be, but whom you wished to despise. Your red eyes and cold glare; you were the demon in your prayer."

I frowned as I ended the paragraph. I stared down at the word 'demon' and felt my body shake. Mrs. Ferguson applauded to my performance. "Well done, Madame!" She smiled at me, and I closed the large book, relieved that I passed the lesson. I can't remember why I took these lessons in the first place. Was it my mothers idea? Mrs.Ferguson retrieved the book and placed it in her case. "You did marvelously, Madame Jallerie!" She acclaimed and held her case at her side. "I do look forward to seeing you next week." With those words she stepped out of the study room and headed to the front door with Maiden Rose. I looked out the window and watched her enter her carriage. I placed my hand on the crystal clear glass and waited for the carriage to leave.

I was afraid.

The day was close to ending once again, and after reading that certain poem, I feared that I wouldn't catch sleep. The pain in my chest kept on growing, and I desperately tried to fight it back. The feeling crept from my heart into my head and shook inside my body. I slowly turned to the empty room and stepped towards the door when something shot through my leg like a lightning bolt. I stumbled upon the floor and held my leg in pain. I cried as the pain continued to spread up my bone, and my calfs tightened. With the energy I had left, I screamed out his name. "Sebastian!"

It was finally night, and Sebastian had helped me into bed. My leg was bandaged, so I couldn't feel any pain. The lights went out, and once again, I was alone in the darkness. Seconds passed, and I soon heard footsteps in the empty room. I kept quiet and pretended to be asleep as the footsteps came closer. Then my curiosity gave in.

"Who's there?" I asked.

"It is I." I heard Sebastian's voice call back, and I sat up staring into the darkness around me. "Why are you still here?"

"You had a nightmare the other night, so I decided to stay for tonight. Are you all right?"

My eyes grew heavy, and I was soon struggling to keep them open. "I'm fine." I replied lazily and tried to stay awake. As the darkness overcame me, I gave up and fell asleep.

Everything was black, and I could hear whispers reach my ear.

"You're weak-."

"-You're so weak."

"Your Mother and sister left you for a reason-."

I shook my head and opened my mouth, but no words came out. I couldn't fight back at all.

"-Wouldn't it be better to die?"

"-See your Father in death?"

"-Hear his voice again?"

Tears welled in my eyes, and I began to cry. I couldn't wake up from this! The voices grew louder, and I shook my head harder, trying to shoo the noisy echoes away. "Stop it!" I screamed and covered my ears. Tears streamed down my face, and I cried out as loud as I could.

"Madame!"

I opened my eyes and felt my hands cling to something. A shirt, I believe, was being clasped by my hands, and my face was completely wet. "Madame, are you all right?" It was Sebastian I was holding onto, and tears began to well in my eyes again. "Sebastian!" I cried and another wave of tears fell. "It hurts so much! I can't get away!"

"Calm down." He called softly and sat on the bed, holding me. His hand stroking my hair gently and his other rubbing my back. "Everything is fine."

I sniffed in his arms and held him tighter. I was too afraid to release him. "Sebastian.." I called and held back more tears. "Quiet now. You need to rest." He said and continued to stroke my hair. I closed my eyes and felt my body relax in his as the night passed on. He was there, in the place of my father. It was what I wished for, another person to me like so. And for that; I won't forget this moment, ever.