Amaya's Amaranth (Wattys2014)

Chapter 37: You're My Only

Albert Camus once wrote, “Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.” But I wonder if there’s no breaking then there’s no healing, and if there’s no healing then there’s no learning. And if there’s no learning then there’s no struggle. But the struggle is a part of life. So must all hearts be broken?

                      -Nathan(OTH)

Expectations- the root to all happiness if met. And the root to a whole lot of sorrow, if never met.

Relationships; be what it may are based on expectations. Trust, loyalty, love and responsibility give the strong binding. But I think, expectation is the foundation of all relation.

When we're born, a huge part of parents' heart cling on to the hope that one day, their child will grow and become someone established in life, someone good, someone whose name will be taken only to refer to good deeds.

When we love our siblings, we expect them to love us back too. We expect them to stand by us during good and bad times.

When we fall in love with someone, even if unknowingly, we expect them to stand by us no matter what. We expect them to believe in us, trust us and be honest with us. These are the basic expectations of a relation. Sometimes the expectations rise higher with time, for example, some expect their better halves to be able to afford them.

And once, when the expectations start to fade, the relation starts to detoriate. Distance grows as the clouds of dissapointment overcast our mind and heart. But even through all that, a ray of hope peeks through, wishing hard that maybe one day, the expectations will finally be met.

I had expected my mom to support me. I knew she would be a hard nut to crack but I never knew she wouldn't crack even a bit. When I got home, I was at a loss. I had no idea what to do. Should I face my mom or should I let her come to me?

I decided on the latter one and went in my room. The house was quiet and seeing my grandparent's room closed, I realised they were all in there.

I changed into my comfy clothes and lay down on the bed, turning all the lights off.

What if nothing turns out right? My head was hurting as the thoughts constantly churned in my head.

A knock sounded on my door and I jumped up to open it. My limbs grew cold again when I saw my mom standing there.

I kept my head cast away, not daring to look up at her. The sound and pain of her previous slap reverbeting in my mind.

She turned the lights on and remained quiet for some time. Then she said, " We're meeting the boy's family tomorrow. "

My head shot up in surprise. A grin came upon my face and I hugged her fiercely. And I never hugged her in my life. As I had said, we didn't have a close relation.

She remained stiff as I kept thanking her continuously. Breaking free, I asked, " Are they coming here or are we going to Chittagong? "

" We're not going anywhere, " and after a pause she added, " And it's not Sky's family we're meeting. "

At that moment I literally felt the floor starting to give away beneath me. It-it meant that they had fixed another alliance. I shook my head, " No no no. "

" We've been looking into the alliance for quite some time and were about to tell you once you return, " she said in the same robotic voice, " But seemed like you had different plans of your own. "

Any other time, I might have shuddered under her cold stare and agree to whatever she had decided. But not that time.

" No, no, I won't meet them, " I said.

" Yes, you will, " she said gritting her teeth.

" No! " I shouted, " I love Sky and if I have to marry and spend the rest of my life with anyone, it will be with him and only him! I'd rather be a single woman all my life than let you marry me off with someone else! "

My cheeks began to hurt again and I knew the scabs had cracked open. She stood their saying nothing. I took in heavy breaths and I knew I looked like a maniac then.

" Suit yourself, " she said, " But bear this in mind- I will never let you marry him. "

Saying so, she went away. I felt so frustrated that time. I slammed the door shut and let out a scream. And for the first time, I screamed, cursed and cried my heart out.

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I met Sky the following day. My voice was hoarse from all the crying and I had caught on a bad; no scratch that ; a very nasty headache which refused to go away.

I told Sky about my mom's bizzare plan. Just hid the fact about the drama which occured when I was going to meet him that day.

" Let's run away, " I said. My life was turning into a movie and I said, " Why not? I have enough drama in my life. Let's just add the finishing but most crucial touch. "

" Amaya, no, " he said. I was shocked.

" You don't wanna marry me? "

" I wanna marry you with your family's consent, " he said taking my hand.

" Which you know you will never get, " I said beginning to break down again.

" Amaya, I don't want you leaving your family for this, " he took a pause squeezing my hand, " Believe me dear, I will always love you. And- and I promise you that I will wait for you. Be it a few days or an eternity. But your family, Amaya. They've been there for you. Brought you up, loved you and provided for you. Calm down and think. Ask your conscience, are you ready to leave them for me? Are you ready to leave your identity for me? Your foundation? From what I've understood, even if we elope, your mother's not going to accept us even then. She might even decline you your identity. If not us, think about our children. What would you tell them?

Haven't you always dreamed of them playing with their grandparents? Your eyes used to sparkle when you talked about kids.

And Amaya, sweety, I would never want you to have regrets later on, about such things you're gonna miss.

And deary,I meant every word when I said I can never love anyone like I love you.

And if it sounds like I am exaggerating, I'm sorry but it's the truth, I'm ready to embrace the single life forever. If I don't get you.  Because I can never dream, I never even had the thought of someone else sharing my life, my bed, my mornings, my happiness with someone else. "

Even though I didn't admit it that day, I had mentally prepared myself for a life like that too. And now, even he had said that.

" How can you live like that? "

" Do you think you'll be able to handle someone else with me? " he smirked.

I admitted, I would've been really mad. He chuckled and hugged me.

" Let's not think the negatives now dear, " he said. I nodded, that little hope still lit in my mind.

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" But that light was flicked off. Sky had even gone to my mom to convince her but she... My mom never agreed to us, and well, we ended up the way we are now. "

I pause. She never let her eyes off me, as if she is inspecting me, looking into me. Trying to know how I feel, or maybe finding the truth?

" But at least all my lights were not flicked off, " I say looking at her. I cup her face and say, " Because you came into my life to light up my world. "

Sky comes up beside her and said, " You came to our life and lit up our world. "

She looks at him for some time and does something none of us could have predicted. She hugs him tight and holds on for quite some time. Sky seems shocked, maybe he can't believe that it is happening. It's only a matter of time before he hugs her back.

His face registers a happiness he had long awaited for when she says, " I love you dad. "