Forbidden {L.S.}

Fifty-Two

We went out to eat on Tuesday night since Louis and I were leaving around two the next day. Louis and Johannah had worked things out and were laughing before we ordered, which made me smile. 

I leaned my head on Louis’ shoulder and had my hand on his thigh. Johannah was telling me about how she met Dan when a waiter came over to the table. He looked directly at Louis and I and frowned.

“I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave,” he said with no sympathy to Dan. 

“Why?” he asked. 

I looked at the table and pulled away from Louis, shaking my head. I felt Louis reach for me again but I moved my arm away, refusing to look up.

“Harry,” Louis whispered while Dan ordered for the manager to come talk to him. I didn’t look up at him or make any move at all. “Baby-”

“It's because of us. I-” I started to say before cutting myself off.

Louis grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him, tilting my head up. “Fuck them. We shouldn't be asked to leave because we chose each other rather than to be straight. Don't let them get in your head, okay? There is nothing wrong with us being together.”

I nodded halfheartedly, looking back down. Louis grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet, holding my hand as we walked. An employee walked by and mumbled “fucking fags” under her breath. I started walking faster than Louis and pulled my hand away, looking at the ground. I didn’t stop walking, even when I was out of the restaurant and into the street.

“Hazza.” Louis caught up to me about halfway down the block from the restaurant. “Don't cry, hey,” he whispered, wiping under my eyes. “Its okay. Everything's okay.”

I fell into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me tightly. I don't know why it got to me so badly, but it did. I was finally able to take a few deep breaths and calm down. 

“Its okay,” Louis soothed. “They're dicks. Don't listen to them.”

“I'm sorry,” I said quietly. “I-”

“Don't. Don't be sorry. This is on them, it has nothing to do with you.”

I nodded against his chest, finally pulling away to look up at him. He kissed me without hesitation, cupping my face in both of his hands.

“I love you, Harry. Nothing's ever gonna change that.” Louis brushed his thumb back and forth against my cheek. “You're perfect and amazing and don't let others change that.”

“Okay,” I whispered, looking down then back up at him after a few seconds. Louis wiped away the last bit of tears on my face and kissed my nose. “I love you too.”

He offered his hand and I took it. He lead us back down to where his parents had parked. “I'll be right back,” he told me as he entered the restaurant. I stayed by the car, wrapping my arms around myself.

A few minutes later everyone came out. Louis saw me and took off his jacket, holding it so I could put it on. I slipped my arms through and rubbed them as Louis pulled me to his chest.

“What's the plan now?” Louis asked as Dan got the younger girls into their seats. I tried not to shiver in the cold while Louis rubbed my arms. “Do you just want to go back to the house?”

“No!” Daisy yelled. “I'm hungry.”

“We would still eat, Daisy. Don't yell like that,” Dan told her before turning back to us. “Just follow us, alright? I know somewhere we can go instead.”

Louis nodded and we got into the other car along with Lottie. Louis turned on the heater and reached for my hand. 

“That was bullshit,” Lottie mumbled under her breath. Louis glanced at her through the rearview mirror. “Don't tell me it wasn't.”

“Drop it, Lot,” Louis said. He squeezed my hand, looking at the road. 

“No. Why would they rather lose money than-”

“Lottie, seriously. Drop it,” Louis repeated. “You're allowed to feel like that but just let it go for our sake.” Lottie crossed her arms and sighed but didn't say anything else on the topic. 

I chewed on my lip and looked out the window. I couldn't stop playing the events in my head. I hated that I let it get to me so much, but I cared about what people saw me as. And I know that their opinions literally mean nothing and that I was never going to see them again, but I couldn’t get it out of my head at all. 

When we pulled in besides the other car, Louis looked at Lottie. “Tell them we'll be right in.”

“Yeah, sure,” She responded, getting out. 

Louis tugged on my hand when she closed the door, causing me to look up at him. “Are you okay? Do you just want to go back to the house?” he asked quietly.

I shook my head and forced a small smile, watching our hands. “I'm okay.”

“Are you?” He asked again. “I get it, H. If you don't want to be here, we can go home. I won’t be mad, they won’t be mad, no one’s gonna be mad at you.”

I looked down and sighed. “Honestly?”

“Honestly,” Louis answered.

“I feel bad. I know it's not fully my fault, but it won’t get out of my head. I don’t want to let how people see me affect me but I’ve always been invisible. When people see me, I don’t want it to be-”

“Don't,” Louis cut me off. “It's not even partially your fault. Don't feel like it is. There is nothing wrong with loving who you love. And you are perfect to me.”

“Do you wanna go back?” I asked quietly. I drug my fingers across his palm, staring at the shapes I was making instead of his eyes. 

“H-”

“No, I want to know if you do,” I told him, finally looking up. “Do you?”

“A little bit,” he admitted. “But it's up to you, Hazza. We’ll come back, we’ll see them again.”

I looked inside and saw Lottie standing at the entryway of the restaurant. “I'm okay,” I told him honestly. “Let's go eat.” I placed my hand against his hand and folded my fingers around his.