Mistress // Jensoo

falling for a lie is hard

Her head felt light, her body felt like it was floating, everything seemed unreal. Jennie moved her arms about on the bed, searching for that one body she had yearned to feel. But the bed felt different, the smell was not one she recognized. She reached further, but there was no other body.

That was impossible, Jisoo had never left her alone every morning.

When she had opened her eyes, a different sight had welcomed her.

This wasn't their room.

Jennie blinked her eyes, adjusting to the bright light coming from the window. She had meant to sit up, but she realized she was bare underneath the sheets. Her pulse started to race with her breath. She didn't know where she was, or where Jisoo went. Jennie looked wildy around the room. Her clothes were strewn on the floor, the sheets having dirty patches on one side. She looked beyond it, and she was not mistaken about the clear long plastic filled with white liquid.

Her thoughts were interrupted as the door opened to reveal Suho and Lay. Her blood ran cold as her body malfunctioned, the storm of fright worked itself again at her.

"You're awake." Even his voice would cut deep into her mind.

"What am I doing here? Where am I?" Jennie was in the middle of inevitable terror, as she contemplated the scene before her eyes, falling into the gutter of her greatest demon.

"You do not recall? How you brought Lay into this room? How you brought yourselves into extreme ecstasy?"

Lay turned his head away at the statement.

"No." She breathed as she started to panic because she did not know the scale of the disaster that had happened inside this room. But putting the pieces together, she could not be mistaken sex had been done inside the room, but she could not be a part of it.

She could not do it, not when she had her love.

Suho sat on the edge of the bed, chuckling as he dusted off the sheets. "Come on, Juliet, surely you haven't forgotten everything. After all, your screams were heard all the way downstairs. Or were you too drunk to have noticed?"

So Jennie searched through the maze of memories, trying to fish ones from it. The whole of it was incomplete, a blur, but it was clear that it really was her and Lay.

Then she remembered bits and pieces from last night---she wished she hadn't. The panic heightened as a flash of a memory, a single memory made all of her fall into the void of sin and deep guilt. She remembered kissing him on this very bed, and how she did not stop him. Jennie shook her head, not wanting to believe a story that she knew she was not capable of doing to her Jisoo. There was something missing in the whole of it, but she could not find out what.

She was a monster.

"That's not true!"

But what use was denying when her mind had that single image stuck to her head? And now the torment of knowing what transpired between them that night yielded terror and hurt. It had placed her own angelic morality into display and in contrast to her dirty and tainted body and mind.

"Why not ask Jisoo? She must have enjoyed the show after seeing it last night."

She shook her head, convincing herself that he was telling lies, but the state of the room and herself told her otherwise.

And Jennie started to hate herself. She wanted to tear her skin off herself so it wouldn't be a reminder of her unloyalty, she wanted to take her eyes off so she wouldn't see another day of the face that had hurt Jisoo again, she wanted to take her heart and crush it with her own hands so she wouldn't be constantly told how weak it was at protecting Jisoo.