The Reason/ 5SOS & 1D

Part Five

The next day when I left Calum's house I finally went home to face my mother. After I pulled up it took me a good ten minutes to work up the courage to get out of the car. I finally went inside and found my mom sitting in the living room. When she saw it was me she immediatly smothered me in a hug. "Cassie, where have you been? Ive been worried sick. " She said as tears threatened to start coming. 

"Im sorry mom, I stayed at Cal's house last night. I have a lot to tell you." I said into her shoulder so I wasnt sure if she understood any of it. The first thing I did was show her the letter. As she read it I saw her eyes fill with more tears and then she got to the end. The confused look said all I needed to know. She looked at me for an explanation. 

"I dont know mom. I dont know where he is or why he left. I went and talked to his mom and she said she has no idea where he is either but he left her a voicemail saying he would call and check in with her. Did I do something wrong?" I asked as the tears started coming.

"Oh Cas hunny, of course you didnt. Sometimes people just have to leave for a little bit to figure things out and find out who they are. I'm sure he misses you like crazy and when he comes back everything will go back to normal. He said it himself, he loves you. People dont leave the people they love, at least not forever." 

'How long do you think it will be before he comes back?" I whispered.

"Who knows. It could just be a few days or it could be months. But I think for now you should just keep living your life. You guys can figure things out whenever he comes back. You look exhausted, maybe you should go rest." 

"I didnt get much sleep last night. But there's somewhere I need to go first. Ill be back later. Dont wait up." I knew I wouldnt be back later. I wouldnt be back until tomorrow. 

I went to the one place that held the biggest spot in my heart. As I pulled up to the building, I went straight to the elevator and hit the button for the top floor. As the elevator stopped and the doors opened I took a right and headed for the stairs. When I got to the roof the feelings hit me harder than I ever imagined they would. 

I sat in the exact spot where Luke and I had our first date. I remembered all the things we talked about and how he asked me to be his girlfriend. The memories of that night flooded back and the tears started streaming down my face. This was where Luke and I had our first kiss. Would I ever get to kiss him again? 

I laid there until the sun started rising. I didnt sleep. I didnt think. I just laid there. 

I finally decided to leave because my mom was probably worried. When I got home my mom was still asleep so I just went to my room and put my headphones on. If anything could make me feel better about this situation it was music. My escape from everything. 

A few hours later I heard a knock on my door. I assumed it was my mom so I was shocked when I opened the door and stood face to face with Ashton, the drummer of Luke's band. 

"Ash, hey. What are you doing here?" I hadn't seen Ashton since the last band practice I sat in on which was almost a month ago. 

"I have something that I think you need to hear."

Something in my heart said that this wasn't going to be good. 

We sat down on my bed as Ashton pulled out his phone. He went to his voicemails and played the most recent one. 

"Hey Ash, its Luke. I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving and I don't know when I'm going to be back. Some things are going on in my life and I really need to figure them out before I come home. I left Cal and Mikey voicemails too to let them know. And I left Cassie a note because I knew that I would break down if I left her a voicemail. I trust you the most out of the guys and I just want you to make sure that you guys keep practicing and stay together. Also, I need to ask you for a favor. Please tell Cassie that Im sorry.. Ill see you sometime. Love you man." 

As the voicemail ended I felt the tears fall from my eyes. Luke was going to come back. He said it. He just didnt say when. I could finally have hope again. 

But there was also a part that was confusing me. He said that he was sorry. Was he sorry for leaving or was he sorry for leaving me here confused out of my mind about what was going on. 

He left Calum and Michael voicemails too. Wait. Calum didnt say anything about a voicemail. Why didnt he tell me? 

"Thank you for letting me hear this Ashton. I have to go talk to someone, but call me if you hear anything from him?" I said as I got up and started grabbing clothes to change into. 

"Yeah of course, same to you." Ashton left and I got dressed and headed over to Calum's. 

I walked into Calum's house and slammed the door behind me. His mom's car wasnt there so I knew she wasnt home from work yet. Calum had some serious explaining to do. 

I stormed up to Calum's room and through the door open. Calum was laying on his bed with his headphones on. When he saw me he took his headphones off and smiled. "He Cas, whats u-" But I didnt let him finish before I started screaming at him. 

"WHAT THE HELL CALUM" My anger just kept rising higher and higher. 

"Woah, Cassie. What did I do?"

"WHAT DID YOU DO? WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE VOICEMAIL LUKE LEFT YOU?" His face dropped after the words came out of my mouth.  

"Im sorry, I couldn't bear to tell you because I knew you would want to hear it." His voice was barely above a whisper and you could hear the sadness in it. 

"What did it say. Calum I want to hear it." I demanded, trying to keep my anger under control. How could my best friend do this to me. How could he keep something so huge from me. 

"Cassie, Im not so sure that's a good idea.." But before Calum could stop me I grabbed his phone off his bed and ran and locked myself in the bathroom. 

Calum was banging on the door begging for me not to listen to it. But it was too late. I hit play and the words hit me right in the heart. 

"Cal, hey man. I wanted to let you know that im leaving. I dont know when I'll be back but things are just too hard right now. It has nothing to do with you or anybody else. I just have to do whats best for me. But Cal, I messed up. I left Cassie a note saying that I loved her and that's why I left. But I dont love her. At least not yet. I need to figure out my life before I come back and decide my feelings for her. I know that you're her best friend and that you will take good care of her while I'm gone. When I get back we can figure everything out, but for now I need to be on my own. This is the last you'll hear from me until I come home. Take care of yourself, and Cassie. Love you."

I could physically feel my heart shattering. Luke lied, he doesnt love me. 

I was so heartbroken and confused but I was out of tears. Its like I was completely numb. 

I got up from where I was sitting in the bathroom and walked out, only to find myself face to face with Calum. 

"Cassie, Im so sorry.. I should have told you." He was on the verge of tears. I couldn't even look at him so I pushed past him and left. What hurt even more was that he didnt come after me. 

I didnt want to be around anyone so I went to the one place that I knew nobody else except Luke knew about. The old treehouse we had found in the woods. 

It was dark outside so it took me a little longer to find my way to the treehouse but when I made it and I looked up at it, I felt the smile creep onto my face. The treehouse was a really special place to me. I climbed up the ladder that looked like it was about to fall apart and pulled myself into the cozy little building.

As I looked around and saw the blankets and pillows in the corner, the little table with the radio on it, and the walls that Luke and I had graphittied I felt myself finally be happy for the first time these past few days. Then something caught my eye. By the radio I saw the cd that Luke had burnt for me. I went and picked it up and put it in the radio and before I even knew what I was doing I hit play. 

The first song started, and the memories of that night came rushing back.