The Reason/ 5SOS & 1D

Part Fourteen

"Luke, what are you doing here?" I was suprised I even got any words out. I was shocked. 

He didnt say anything. He just looked at me. Then he walked over and pulled me into his arms.

"It's so good to see you. I missed you so much." His words were muffled from his head being buried in the crook of my neck.

It felt so good to be in his arms again. In this moment, right now, I didnt care why he had left. I just wanted to lose myself in this feeling. I finally felt complete again.

When he let go I felt myself let out the breath I hadnt realized I was holding. As I looked into his eyes I felt tranquility wash over me. A feeling I had been longing to feel ever since he left.

I crashed my lips into his. It only took him seconds to start kissing back as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I put my arms around his neck and continued kissing him with the most passion I ever had. 

He pulled away and pecked me on the nose before he grabbed my hand and led me over to the couch. 

We sat there in silence until I finally looked at him, begging him to be the first to speak. 

He closed his eyes and sighed. He knew he had a lot of explaining to do. 

"Im so sorry." I wasnt expecting him to start with that, but he kept talking before I could say anything. 

"I know you are probably upset with me right now for leaving that letter and then saying I didnt love you in Calum's voicemail but I promise I never wanted to hurt you. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I shouldnt have said that I loved you because I dont know my feelings for you yet. After this last month and a half I dont know my feelings about anything. But please understand that I want to be with you, and I really need you in my life right now so please dont be mad at me."

Luke teared up but stopped talking giving me a chance to say what I was feeling. 

"I dont care. I dont care about myself right now. We can figure out our relationship later. I want to be with you too, but right now all I want to know is if you're okay." I used my thumb to wipe away the tear that had slipped from his eye. 

"No. Im not okay." That was all he could choke out before he broke down into tears. 

I knew I didnt need to say anything. I just set my hand on top of his letting him know that it was okay, and that I was ready to talk whenever he was. 

I was dying to know why Luke left, but I wasnt going to pry. Having him back was good enough for me. 

When he had calmed down and the tears stopped falling he looked up at me with red puffy eyes. 

I had never seen Luke like this before. This was the first time I had ever even see him cry. It broke my heart.

"Cassie.. I left becau-" Luke started to say but I cut him off. 

"You dont have to tell me if you dont want to. I dont wanna push you." 

And it was true. I didnt want Luke to feel like he had to tell me everything, because he didnt. He had every right to keep what happened this last month and a half to himself. 

"No, I want to. I owe you an explanation." 

Luke closed his eyes and finally started talking. 

"On the night I left i found out something that I couldnt just ignore. After you left my house I was trying to find some batteries for my tv remote. My mom usually keeps some in the drawer of her nightstand, so I went in there to check. When I opened the drawer I started rummaging through it and there was a folded piece of paper at the bottom that I didnt see the last time I was in there." 

Luke pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. 

When I opened it and started reading, I finally understood. 

Dear Liz, 

I know you're probably not happy that Im writing this, but I just wanted to know if you guys were doing okay. I know that you hate my guts for leaving you guys after Luke was born, but I was scared. I wasnt ready to be a father. I know you dont want me to be a part of Luke's life and I dont even think I want to be part of it. He deserves someone who can be there for him and be an actual father figure to him. But he is still my son and I deserve to know know he is doing. He doesnt have to know Im alive, but give me something at least. Please write me back. 

Love Ted 

"Oh my god." 

That was all I could say. 

Luke's father was alive. For seventeen years he has been told that his dad was dead, but really he just didnt want him. No wonder Luke had been so afraid. He was meeting the guy that he thought he would never get to meet.

"I found the envelop in the next drawer down and went to the address on it. I needed to see it to believe it. My whole life I was told that he was dead. I had to make up this image of him in my head. My whole life I had to wonder what he looked like and what kind of guy he was because I knew I would never have the chance to know him. So when I found out he was alive I had to go find out. I left that night after I left the voicemails and used the key hidden outside your house to leave you the letter." 

I could hear the pain in his voice. 

"What was he like? Was he happy to see you?" I started throwing out the questions I was thinking. 

Luke's eyes teared up again and I knew I overstepped. 

"Im sor-" 

"No, its okay. And no. He wasnt happy to see me. When I showed up at his house and told him who I was he asked me how I had found him and I told him about the letter. He said that the letter was from five years ago and that my mom had never wrote him back so he stopped trying and he wanted nothing to do with me. Then he told me to leave. I could hear kids voices coming from inside the house. He cant be a father to me but he can be a father to them? Were my mom and I not good enough to meet his standards? After he told me to leave I walked away. I couldnt even bare to look at him. I stayed away because I couldnt face anybody yet. But now Im ready." 

I felt terrible. This whole time I thought Luke left because of me, but really his whole life had just changed. How could I be so selfish?

"Im so sorry Luke. We can figure this out, okay? Ill help you." 

Luke pulled me into his arms. 

As I rested my head on his shoulder I saw his bag laying on the floor. This was the first place he came. Which meant he hasnt been home yet. 

"Luke, you need to go talk to your mom."