The Reason/ 5SOS & 1D

Part Eleven

I sat up all night thinking about that phone call. I just couldnt wrap my mind around it. Luke sounded afraid. Not like scared for his life afraid, but like his whole life had changed and he didnt know what to do. 

I replayed his words over and over again in my head. "I have way too much on my mind right now to worry about my feelings for you." What does that mean?

He never said he didnt still have feelings for me. He called me just to see how I was doing so that has to mean something right? I could feel myself over thinking ever aspect of what he said. I needed to do something to get my mind off of it. 

I thought about another thing Luke said. He told me to make up with Calum. 

Im still pretty upset that Calum kept something so big from me, but maybe we did need to bury the hatchet. I havent seen Calum since a few days after Luke left. That was a month ago. 

It was the longest I had ever gone without seeing Cal. 

I know Luke was just worried about me pushing everyone away since he had been gone, which is exactly what I have been doing. So I decided to do this for Luke. 

"Mom, Im going over to Calum's!" I called over my shoulder as I picked up my keys off the kitchen table and headed out the door. 

The short three minute drive to Calum's house was filled with anxiety and fear. 

What if Calum didnt want to see me? What if he was mad that I hadnt spoken to him in a month?

When I pulled up in front of his house I couldnt even build up the courage to get out of the car. 

"C'mon Cassie. It's just Calum. He could never stay mad at you." I pep talked myself. 

I finally made my way to the front door and knockd. 

I knocked.

For the first time in my life I knocked on Calum's door. 

Calum opened the door and stuck only his head out, but when he saw it was me he opened it all the way. 

I shuckled when I saw Calum standing there in nothing but his boxers. He had a great body. If he wouldnt have been my best friend since forever, then I probably would have had a crush on him. 

"Do you ever wear pants?" I tried to lighten the mood, and apparently I succeeded because Calum smiled and stepped to the side so I could come inside. 

"So.. It's uh, good to see you." Calum muttered awkwardly as we sat down on the navy blue couch. Nothing had ever been awkward between Calum and I. I hated this feeling. 

"Calum, I came to apologize." His face softened at my words. 

"You dont need to. I should have showed you the voicemail. It wasnt right of me to keep it to myself. I just didnt want to hurt you. You're my best friend Cas. I love you and I hate seeing you hurting. It kills me to see you like this." 

"I should have never gotten mad at you Cal. Im so sorry. I was just overwhelmed with everything that was happening and my feelings wer-" But I was cut off by Calum wrapping his arms around me. 

"Its okay, I know." he whispered. 

He laid down and pulled me to his side. I laid my head on his chest as he wrapped his arm around my waist. 

"Do you still wonder about Luke? Like why he left or where he is?" I asked.

"He said he was coming back so I try not to think about it. It makes it seem less real." 

I didnt respond because I was too busy thinking about his answer. Maybe I should stop thinking about it too. 

I couldnt decide if I should tell Calum about the phone call or not. I know how upset I was when he didnt tell me about the voicemail, so I did what I thought was right. 

"Luke called me yesterday." I blurted out. 

I felt Calum tense up. 

"What did he say?" He asked as he sat up, pulling me up with him so we were face to face. 

"He said that he couldnt tell me where he was or what he was doing but that he was going to come back and explain everything." 

"Thats it?" Calum looked disappointed. 

"He also said that he has a lot on his mind and he said that he was afraid. What could he be afraid of?" 

"I dont know. But we can figure that out when he comes back. At least we know that he is alive and okay." 

Calum had a point. I was so busy focusing on all the bad things when I should be looking at the positive side. Luke was okay. He was gonna come back and explain everything and things would go back to how they used to be. 

"Do you remember the day I met Luke?" Calum interrupted my thoughts as he smiled at the memory. 

"Yeah. That was a week before he asked me out. That was the day I found out he liked me. How could I forget it."