The Reason/ 5SOS & 1D

Part Fifteen Luke P.O.V!

I knew that Cassie was right. I need to go talk to my mom. 

My mom and I have always been close, and I have always been able to talk to her about anything. But this felt different. She has been lying to me my whole life. I knew that this wasnt going to turn out well. 

I stayed at Cassie's house last night and we stayed up all night talking about the events of the last month and a half of my life. She listened to everything I said and let me cry when I needed to. 

She never once asked me about the letter. She never brought herself up at all. She was genuinely worried about me and wanted to be there for me. 

And Im in love with her. 

I want to tell her, but I need to figure things out with my mom first, so Im gonna tell her tonight. 

Cassie drove me over to my house early the next morning. 

I hadnt realized how nervous I was until I felt the beads of sweat forming on my forehead. My hands were clammy and felt sticky against the cold metal door handle. 

Right as I was about to open the door to get out, I felt Cassie's hand on my arm. 

"Are you sure you dont want me to come with you?" She was so cute when she was concerned. 

"I have to do this on my own. I'll stop by later." She nodded understandingly and let go of my arm. 

I got out of the car and made my way up the steps to the door. I hadnt been here in almost two months, and It didnt even feel like home anymore. I missed my mom, but I also had so much anger built up towards her. 

I made my way throught the door and the doubt I had washed away. The feeling of serenity hit me and I couldnt help but smile. 

But my smile was soon erased when my mom walked around the corner. 

She didnt say a word. Every emotion I was feeling was replaced with the imense feeling of anger. 

My mom embraced me and I could hear her crying into my Nirvana shirt. I kept my arms dangling at my sides, not making any motion to hug her back. 

She pulled away and gave me a questioning look. 

Her tear stained cheeks and red puffy eyes made my heart drop. I hated seeing my mom cry. I made myself look away so I wouldnt give into my emotions. I had to stand my ground. 

"Luke where have you been? Why did you all of a sudden just up and leave? Do you think thats okay? Do you think you can just up and leave like its nothing? Like it wouldnt affect the people in your life?" 

She slammed me with questions. The anger in voice slowly turned into sorrow and I could see her eyes gloss over with tears again. 

"How could you?" I finally managed to choke out. 

"How could I? How could you! I spent the last two months wondering if you were even alive! I was worried sick!" The tears started running down her cheeks again as she yelled at me. 

"Mom this isnt about you!" It came out louder than I intended and her angry expression changed to something else. 

Fear. 

My mom was afraid of me. 

"Why didnt you tell me?"  I lowered my voice this time, but I made sure the anger was still evident. 

"Tell you what Luke? I dont know what you're talking about!" 

"My father is alive! You've been lying to me my entire life, and now I want the truth mom!" 

My voice raised again but I didnt care. It was like I had no control over my anger. 

"Is that where you've been? You went to go see the guy that left us! How do you even know that he's alive?!"

We were both full on screaming now. I took the letter out of my pocket and threw it onto the floor. 

"Maybe you should have tried hiding that better!" 

My throat hurt from screaming and I was on the verge of tears, but I couldnt back down now. 

"Lucas I asked you a queston! Did you go see your father?" 

I had never seen my mom like this. She was fuming. 

"Yes!" My voice cracked when I yelled and the tears finally came . I didnt know if I was crying about what had happened between me and my father or because of what was happening right now. 

My mother wasnt even phased by my tears. She continued to scream so loud I was suprised the neighbors hadnt heard yet. 

"Why?! He left you! He only stayed long enough to hold you once! While I was in the hospital recovering he was at home packing his bags! He doesnt care about you! This whole time I've been trying to protect you from him!" 

She was getting angrier by the second. 

"Im not a baby anymore! You dont have to protect me! As a mother it's your job to help me through stuff like this, not keep it from me! Maybe I wouldnt have left if you would have just told me! This is your fault!"

The last sentence hit her hard. I could see the fire in her eyes and I knew I had went too far. 

"You're blaming me for this?! He didnt want you! When I held you in my arms for the first time I felt like I was holding my whole world. You wanna know what your father thought he was holding? A mistake! He looked at you like you were a burden! After he let I promised myself I would never speak to him or of him again. I did it to protect you. You might not be a little boy anymore but while you are still living under the roof of my house it is my job to protect you!" 

The tension in the room grew with every word that came out of her mouth. 

"Well then Im leaving! Im sick of being lied to in my own house!"

The words pured out of my mouth before I could even think about what I was about to say. But it was too late now. 

"Fine!" My mom screamed. 

"Oh and dont worry. Dad might not really be dead, but hes dead to me." 

I didnt stay long enough to see the expression on her face. I ran upstairs, threw my clothes into a bag, and stormed out of my house. 

My vision was clouded with tears as I drove. My mind was racing and I had no idea where to go, so I went to the only place I knew I was welcome. 

I pulled up in front of Cassie's house. I leaned my head on the steering wheel and sobbed. I didnt want Cassie to have to see my like this again. I waited until I finally got myself under control before I got out of the car and went to knock on her door. 

When she opened it her face went from happy to concerned instantly. 

I knew that she could tell it didnt go well, but she didnt even ask about it. 

"Hey, come in." 

But there was only one place I wanted to be right now. 

"Come with me." 

I grabbed her hand and pulled her out the door.