Love has a rule. There is only a certain amount of hearts one can carry in their own hands without causing any damage to any of them. And that number is one.
When Lara Dias meets her idol, little did she know that when she went home that day, she al...
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Lara's POV:
Although I wanted to talk to him so bad, I gave myself another week. Another week of pondering, of making sure. I had no doubts already, but this just made my lack of doubt stronger. Every day I craved to go and talk to him and spill up my heart back. I was so frustrating to not be able to just go and talk to him and be with him. The mere thought of being embraced in his warm light again, and really, truly, allowing myself to bath in it... To return all of that warmth I didn't let reach him due to my unknowing mind... I wanted that so bad
A week later, as soon as I woke up I texted both of them. I made my mind up already, but I feel like I owe them both an explanation. An apology. An attempt to at least maintain a friendship.
Shawn answers me fast, very fast. Before answering him, however, I wait a bit to see if Tom answers me. But he doesn't. That fact made a fist close around my heart, faltering that light. But no matter whether Tom realized in these weeks that he wouldn't wait for me, it wouldn't change what I have to say to either of them.
With no sign of Tom, I answer Shawn, and I find that he is in LA. He agrees on meeting up with me. I suggest a nice coffee shop, and he's happy with that, which is relieving- I suggested a place like that to purposely not give him any sort of expectation, as it is public and casual setting.
We're seeing each other today towards the end of the afternoon. Meanwhile, I sat down and got a notebook and a pen, and started to jot down words and phrases, things that I want to tell him. Confessions and apologies, maybe. And as I wrote and the time to meet rolled closer, I felt my stomach jumbling up with nervousness, scared of the outcome. The uneasiness because Tom wasn't answering me didn't help, either. By the time I'm ready I try my best to shove this worry to the back of my mind, wanting my focus to be on the encounter and on Shawn.
Walking in with my heart in my throat, I see him already sitting down, eyes down to his phone. I can't help but stop for a bit, and take him in. He looks so different. His hair is longer, ends curling into little hooks against his forehead. His skin is slightly paler too, the glow of the Summer now gone. But it was more than these slight physical changes. What really changed is my perspective, and not really him that much.
Of course, I find him still overwhelmingly attractive, but not enough to make me lose my breath, make me lose track of my mind. I don't see him with those eyes of a girl who had a celebrity crush on the most hormonal years of her teenagehood. Neither do I look at him with the eyes of someone who wants more than just a friendship. Which had always been so up until this point. Shawn and I always looked at each other as a love interest, skipping our friendship altogether. Maybe that's part of why we failed, besides the fact that I loved someone else.
I walk to him, every step closer a decision of my own, not dictated by that magnetic field that used to pull me in.
"Hey," I say as I get to his table, my tone friendly and gentle. He immediately locks his phone and looks up, his eyes going wide as he takes me in. A trail of guilt drips down my body. Not towards I'm about to say, neither what I did. It's in the past. But guilt because I care a lot about him and I know I will probably hurt him.
