Read my story bitch. I know I'm late AF but I decided to shoot my shot anyway cuz I'm bored and this is the funniest shit to ever happen to the internet. Yes, it's a funny story about Nicki and Tom. Please let me know if any part made you laugh, I p...
"Wow I-I don't understand. Thats bullocks, I almost don't believe it."
"I can't lie about something like this, I promise you."
"But you're always rapping about your pussy and shit, how can you be a virgin? You act like you've done it a lot."
"Well when I first got discovered by Lil Wayne a.k.a Weezy F. Baby, he told me to be freaky with my bars so I'd sell more records."
"So you never slept with any of your other boyfriends?"
"No."
"Not even Weezy or Drizzy?"
"Um, did you forget about my song 'Only'?"
"Oh yeah. My fault."
"...Anyway, this is why all my past boyfriends left me, because I wasn't experienced or something. They wanted the cookie but I told them they had to wait, so they bailed on me. They was just sum fuck ni**as."
Nicki's backstory lowkey makes Tom emotional. All she wanted was for them to wait and get to know her more, and they just wanted to get their dicks wet. He understood how hopeless and rejected she must have felt after all her breakups, but here he was, her new hope.
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"Why wouldn't you tell me?"
"I was afraid you'd leave me too."
"Onika, it literally doesn't matter that you're a virgin, I'll never leave you. You're my whole world, even without all your juicy assets, you're still the baddest in the game. I love you."
"Really?"
"Of course, babygorl." He hugs her.
"And besides, I like being the dominant one."
"Wait, so how many girls have you been with?"
"Uhh...not a lot. Ok, like....this one time some girl gave me brain at my hotel room, and I may have pumped it a few times but then her mom texted her saying 'I kno u snuck out, bring ur ass bac home', so she dashed out the room before I could even bust, and that was it. I also think she might have been 17 so please don't tell the police it wasn't my fault. I also I tried to shag Zendaya during the first movie we did, but she told me I was too short for her, and she didn't like British boys...and that she'd stomp me in the ground with her Louis Vuittons if I ever hit on her again."
Nicki pauses and looks down, nodding her head as if to sympathize with him, but suddenly throws her head back and begins cackling uncontrollably. Tom looks embarrassed and slightly pissed. She goes on for about 20 seconds.
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"I have to laugh."
"Seriously?"
"Yo story makes me glad I ain't done nothing with anyone yet so I wouldn't be on some awkward shit like you were, hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
Tom crosses his arms and pouts again like a frustrated little boy.
"Wow. Rude."
"Aww Tommy, I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I'm the one who's sorry, I shouldn't have urged you to lemme smash when you weren't ready."
"Nah it's fine, I shouldn't have said I was ready when I wasn't, it's not fair to you. You deserve it."
"Yeah I do.....uh, I mean...next time you can call the shots."
"Sounds good. That's how it's supposed to be anyway, then I'll let you take over. You're so considerate."
"Because I'm a gentleman, darling."
"Lol, you're so funny."
For the rest of the evening they decide to just cuddle on the couch together, eating Xtreme Cheddar Goldfish and watching H2O 🧜🏽♀️🧜🏻♂️
