Read my story bitch. I know I'm late AF but I decided to shoot my shot anyway cuz I'm bored and this is the funniest shit to ever happen to the internet. Yes, it's a funny story about Nicki and Tom. Please let me know if any part made you laugh, I p...
"Lord Jesus, issa fire." Beyoncé exclaims, her forehead in her palm.
Nicki—err...Roman, is still up on the ceiling floating around, now rambling incoherently and refusing to cooperate with any of the girls.
"Duh dun dun, da sun done, yup da sun done." He says.
"What the hell happened to her?" Normani asks, staring at him.
"Oh I'll tell you what happened to her. This bitch over here just couldn't go one second without acting like this was some live performance and she was the star! You fucking idiot, your alter ego brought back one of Nicki's alter egos!" Solange shouts at her sister.
"I am not Jasmine, I am Aladdin!" Roman says.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't contain myself. I was too in the moment!" Beyoncé says.
"How do we know you didn't do this on purpose? I heard you hexed a bitch and killed her kitten." Meg declares.
"No, I would never hurt Nicki, we're friends. She was the only other person iconic enough to collab with me."
"Which bitch you know made a million awf a mixtape!" Roman says.
"Ok but you did a feature on a cringy Coldplay song and with Ed Sheeran's ugly ass. We've not forgot about those, sis." FKA Twigs sassily reminds her.
"Those were easy money. And I never hexed anyone, that was just another spell that went wrong...because of my crippling need for attention." Beyoncé confesses shamefully.
"Well who knows where Nicki's soul is now, and if we'll ever get it back." Normani pouts.
"Fuck Nicki, she's fake!" Roman shouts.
"Ugh, we were counting on you Yoncé!" Chloe says.
"Why is errybody blaming me, surely one of you can conjure something up. I been teachin' you and Halle this for 3 years! Solange you've been doing this as long as me! And what about you Riri, don't you know any Jamaican voodoo shit?" Beyoncé asks.
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"I'm from Barbados you stupid H-Town hick! Yuh gawh be kiddin'!" Rihanna rolls her eyes.
"Megan, why don't you use one of your alter egos to counteract it?" Beyoncé asks.
"Uh sorry, Tina Snow don't come out 'til the winter time." Meg shrugs.
"Maybe we can take her to one of Kanye's Sunday Services and he can exorcise her." Normani suggests.
"Oh let's face it this is hopeless, she won't even speak to us!" Halle says.
"I be like FUCK em FUCK em, BRING THE LUBE IN!" Roman says, laughing hysterically.
"Ok ok. We need to focus on getting her down from there first." Solange says.
"We better hurry, too, it won't be long until she finds the—"
