Read my story bitch. I know I'm late AF but I decided to shoot my shot anyway cuz I'm bored and this is the funniest shit to ever happen to the internet. Yes, it's a funny story about Nicki and Tom. Please let me know if any part made you laugh, I p...
Back at the building in New York, Tom cries in fetal position on the floor like a 5 year old who can't find his mom in the grocery store.
All his costars stand silently, staring at him. They have no idea wtf they just witnessed, they don't know if it was a prank or not. They're deeply confused.
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Tom is scared. He knows that if he turns himself in to James, he will be tortured for the rest of his life. They'll force him to drink Pink Drinks and listen to mumble rap everyday, they'll hang him by his toes for 10 hours or cut his dick off.
Or even worse, he'll become James's sex slave and be forced to engage in horrendous and degrading acts.
Acts that cannot be spoken of 🤭
He will never see his friends, he will never get to be in movies, he might not even get to see Beyoncé when they capture her too, smh. He will be a prisoner; alone, miserable, haunted by the memory of his beloved Barbie. This realization plays on and on in his head as he sobs.
It's over. It's all over.
Robert Downey Jr. walks over to Tom and extends a hand. Tom looks up and hesitates, but takes it. Robert pulls him up into a tight hug, rubbing his back. Tom cries into his shoulder, knowing that this embrace might be the last time anyone shows him genuine compassion.
"Rob, I don't wanna live! Just kill me, snap your fingers and make me disintegrate!" Tom cries.
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"It's gonna be okay, my son." Robert assures him.
"No man, no! I'm done for! The second I walk out of this building, everyone is gonna turn me in!" Tom protests.
"Nobody is gonna turn you in, I won't let that happen." Robert says.
"Yeah, anybody that tries to take you away has to go through us." Chris Hemsworth steps in.
"Oh stop, that's so kind of you guys, I love you so much, but...it's not like we're the actual Avengers, here." Tom says.
