Read my story bitch. I know I'm late AF but I decided to shoot my shot anyway cuz I'm bored and this is the funniest shit to ever happen to the internet. Yes, it's a funny story about Nicki and Tom. Please let me know if any part made you laugh, I p...
Tom and Nicki are flying back to California on her private jet after a disastrous NYFW. It is now the morning after the event. Nicki is scrolling through her phone, reading an article on Forbes:
"Former Stripper Attacks Queen At Fashion Week, Gets Beatdown From Spider-Man"
"Look at her fucking head." Tom laughs.
"That shit still got me so weak!" Nicki says, unable to breathe.
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"It's what she deserves." Tom says grinning like that scene from KUWTK.
"Why does she hate you so much?"
"It's all because I said 'If Cardi the QB, I'm Nick Lombardi', and that's it."
"I've never heard you say that."
"That's because she made me cut it from the song and redo my whole verse. That's how fucking dumb she is."
"The pettiness is real." Tom says.
Nicki's phone rings.
"I gotta take this, hollup." Nicki walks into the bathroom and answers her phone, it's Ariana Grande.
"Hey gurl." Ariana says.
"Hey Ari, what's good?"
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"Oh the usual; roasting all these Arianaboos, trying to end this Emery Bingham bitch's career. I really wanted to see what was up with you, are you okay after last night?"
"I'm fine, Zaddy saved the day and knocked that peasant all the way back to the Bronx."
"I'm still dying over it. It's all over TMZ, The Shade Room, and even WorldStarHipHop." Ariana laughs.
"Bitch think she hard tryna come after me? Who even let her into the party?"
"Who knows, but don't worry about it. She's just a trend, you're a legend."
"Thanks huntyyy."
"You know it, babes. Anyways, you should totally do something special for Tom. Like buy something mad expensive. I always do that for myself cuz that's how I am." Ariana says, flipping her ponytail.
