Read my story bitch. I know I'm late AF but I decided to shoot my shot anyway cuz I'm bored and this is the funniest shit to ever happen to the internet. Yes, it's a funny story about Nicki and Tom. Please let me know if any part made you laugh, I p...
James is in his bedroom sitting at his vanity and brushing his blonde wig as if it was his real hair, preparing to catfish more men on Tinder.
He was just about to take yet another nude selfie and post it to his profile, when one of his new minions enters the room. It's Lil Pump.
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"Ayo James, your royal Sisterness." He says
"What do you want, slave? Can't you see I'm busy?" James answers.
"Tom Holland tweeted this video an hour ago, you should see it..."
James slowly lowers his phone down on the vanity. He then rips off his wig and walks toward Lil Pump, snatching the iPhone out his hand.
He sees Tom standing in some dark room with his Avengers costars, all dressed in their costumes. James's eyes light up with fiery. He clicks on the video.
"Hello James. Word around the street is you need me to turn myself in. Real cute." Tom chuckles.
James raises his eyebrows.
"Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but...if you want me, you have to come get me, big boy." Tom taunts.
"That's right bitch!" Chris Evans shouts behind Tom.
Tom turns to Chris.
"Shhh, not yet!" He says.
He turns back to the camera.
"Did you really think it'd be that easy? Did you really think you could scare me into obeying your orders?"
"You were literally crying on the floor just a couple of hours ago like a scared little—"
"Shut up Robert!" Tom shouts.
James rolls his eyes, impatient.
"No more games, James. I will not let you takeover the world. You took over my world when you killed Nicki, because she was my world, but I won't let you do it to anyone else." Tom declares.
His costars wince at how stupid and confusing that statement was. Even James winces.
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"Ok is this supposed to be some joke? Go find this moron and bring him to me!" James demands.
"Just keep watching." Lil Pump says, annoyed.
"If you take Tom down, you take us down with him." Scarlett says, pointing her finger at the camera.
"But you'll have to try, first." Chris Hemsworth jokes.
"We'll drop the addy in a few days so we can finish this face to face. All I can say now is that you better bring your best army and pull tf up." Tom says.
He takes a couple steps closer to the camera.
"...Spidey out✌🏻" He says. The video ends.
James is frozen with anger. He slaps the phone back into Lil Pump's hand.
"Army, huh? Well then...if it's a war he wants, it's a war he will get! Go round up as many recruits as you can, get the Tik Tok boys, get the Instagram baddies, get all your other stupid rapper friends!"
"Even Migos and Tekashi 69?" Lil Pump asks.
"Oh yes, and much, much more. Tell them we're heading into battle!" James declares.
"Esketiiiiiit." Lil Pump says before leaving the room.
James goes back to his mirror and stares at himself.
"Enough is enough. I've given you too many chances, but this is the final straw. Prepare to be sister snatched, Tom!" He says, laughing evilly.
