Read my story bitch. I know I'm late AF but I decided to shoot my shot anyway cuz I'm bored and this is the funniest shit to ever happen to the internet. Yes, it's a funny story about Nicki and Tom. Please let me know if any part made you laugh, I p...
A couple weeks later, Tom and Nicki fly back to New York together for fashion week. He got her an expensive Tom Ford black V neck gown to wear to the Harper's Bazaar Icons party, because he be makin' stupid money off of Spider-Man so he can afford to spoil her like that. He also got a Tom Ford suit for himself so they can match.
They arrive at the red carpet of the Plaza, arm in arm, grinning at all the photographers and fans. Everyone loses their shit when they see them together, looking supa dupa fye.
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A reporter for Vogue magazine finishes talking with Tyra Banks, and comes over with their photographer to Tom and Nicki.
"You two look so adorable and so fresh! Who are you wearing tonight?" The reporter asks.
"Don't pop mollies, we rock Tom Ford!" Nicki quotes from a Jay Z song. The reporter doesn't understand the reference, Nicki rolls her eyes. "You already know we got that Tom Ford in the clutch, that's what's up."
"My name is Tom and I'm wearing Tom." Tom laughs.
"Haha, shut up dork." Nicki laughs, slapping the side of his arm. Tom pretends it didn't hurt.
"So what are you excited to see later on?"
"I think Nicki and I are looking forward to—"
"OKUUUUUUUR!"
Tom is suddenly interrupted by the worst sound known to mankind. It makes his spidey senses sting like alcohol on a cut. Nicki's smile drops dead flat, she stares in the distance ahead, too afraid to look behind her. They both know exactly who it is.
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Behind Tom and Nicki comes Cardiovascular Bronchitis, the infamous industry plant, dressed like a red piñata with a witches broom for a head.
"Oh my god, it's Cardi B!" The reporter exclaims.
"Yeaaaah dash right you know what I'm shayin' hah hah hah hah." Cardi says loudly into the reporter's microphone, speaking like an underdeveloped 3rd grader. Nicki and Tom stare at her, utterly appalled.
