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'count on me' by bruno mars was me and ethan's song. everytime it was on, we would jam to it and sing it together. no matter how old it was, we still listen to it and still have fun with it.
"you can count on me, like 1, 2, 3. i'll be there. and i know when i need it," ethan sings, smiling widely. "i can count on you like 4, 3, 2. you'll be there." i sing next.
"cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah, ooh, ooh." we both sing together.
"you can count on me, cause i can count on you"
ethan sings as the song ends. we both look at each other smiling.
"remember, you can always count on me. you'll always have my shoulder when you cry." ethan ruffles my hair. i laugh. "yea. ok." i look up at him. "just have to count to 3" he winks. i roll my eyes playfully.
december 18
two days after ethan's birthday. also the day of his death.
ethan died from a murder. he went out for a run when a few hours later, he never came back. the police found him dead in a dark alleyway.
(not gonna lie, almost let put some tears writing this part. btw, that murder part was totally random so...)
i'm here laying in my bed. usually my room felt so happy and bright when ethan was around. now that he's not, its just dark and depressing. i start playing some music from my playlist. and 'count on me' by bruno mars just so happens to be the first song.
"you can count on me like, 1, 2, 3. i'll be there. and i now when i need it, i can count on you like, 4, 3, 2. you'll be there. cause that's what friends are supposed to do oh yeah, ooh, ooh"
tears starts forming in my eyes as it plays. memories of me and ethan start flooding into my mind.
"you'll always have my shoulder when you cry. i'll never let go, never say goodbye"
at that moment, i cried even more. that line, ethan used to always tell me after the song. i just lay there as the tears flow down my cheeks and into the bed. i take a deep breath, calming down.
"i can count on you like, 4, 3, 2. you'll be there cause that's what friends are supposed to do oh yea, ooh, ooh..."
i sing but it was difficult cause i was sobbing as i was doing so. i stopped singing and waited for any signs of ethan to finish off the song since thats what he always does. but nothing...the song just finished off on its own.
"you can count on me cause i can count on you.."
i curled up into a ball and cried.
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a/n: bruh, i cried! 😭
