Get It Together

Chapter 10

Rachel cried the entire way home, and when she walked in her house she ignored her parents and everyone else and ran into her room and collapsed on her bed.

She clutched onto her pillow tight as she rocked with sobs. She didn’t know why it hurt so much, her heart was thumping, and it hurt like a bitch. The tears refused to stop, and it was getting so bad that she couldn’t breathe.

She knew that Finn was right, she was being selfish, but how could she not be? How could he ask her to let go of her heart? She knew what was going on in Iraq, and it wasn’t good, she couldn’t risk loosing him. Even if he went into a different field, there was always a chance of him being deployed into Iraq and then what would she do when he did? What would she do if she lost him?

Life was so unfair. Things were prefect for the two of them. They shared so much love, and despite what people thought, they were happy. They were extremely happy, how could he make a decision to jeopardize all that?

“Rachel?” Quinn said poking her head in after she opened the door. When she found Rachel crying she rushed to her side.

“Oh sweetie, Finn called me as soon as you left. He said to go after you. Rachel what happened?” Quinn asked as she soothed Rachel; running her hands through her hair.

“He didn’t tell you?” She calmed down a little bit, but she was still sobbing, and it was hard to get the words out.

“Tell me what?”

“He enrolled in the army.” She cried. Quinn looked at her in shock and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes; she wished that he wouldn’t do that. She had spoken to Blaine about it earlier, and he had said that he too was deciding on it.

“Rachel, maybe it’s what’s best. We know Finn, he wouldn’t make a decision without thinking it through, especially one as big as this. And I know it’s hard, but you need to think about him, imagine how hard it is for him. You need to be there for him Rachel, he needs you right now.” Quinn said.

“How can I let him make this decision that I don’t approve of Quinn? How am I supposed to let him go, knowing that something could happen to him? How do you expect me to feel about worrying every second, if he’s going to get deployed, and then what if he does, what am I suppose to do then? How can I live without him Quinn?” Rachel cried.

“I know sweetie, and it’s going to be hard, but nothing’s ever easy. Things don’t come that easily, it does for us because well I don’t know why we got lucky, but others have to suffer to follow their dreams.”

“It’s so unfair Quinn, it’s so unfair.”

“I know babe, but its life. You can’t do anything about it, but you can just make it better. Go, talk to Finn, he needs you hun, there’s no one else that can help him through this.” Rachel got up and wiped her tears.

“Thanks for always being here Quinn.” She leaned in to give her a hug.

“I’ll always be here Rachel, always.”

                                 X

“Hi sweetie, come on in.” Lauren said when she saw Rachel in the door. She looked as bad as she did, and she knew that she was as worried as she was.

“Thank-you. Is Finn in?” Rachel asked politely. Lauren nodded.

“In his room.” Rachel smiled weakly in thanks and walked to his room. Lauren sighed and walked back into her room, when were things going to be good for her?

Rachel knocked on his door but got no answer so she just walked in. She saw Finn lying down on his bed his arms over his head with, staring up at the ceiling.

“Hey.” Rachel said softly. Finn turned his head immediately at the sound of her voice. He jumped up.

“Oh Rachel, thank-god, I’m so sorry…” Rachel shushed him with her finger on his lips. She kneeled down on her knees so that their faces were level, she had tears running down her cheeks, but when she looked into his eyes she only felt a sense of comfort.

She replaced her finger with her lips and she kissed him avidly. When they pulled apart Rachel pushed him back against the bed so that he was lying on his back. She climbed on top of him and laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. She reached for his hand and tangled her fingers with his, and that’s how they laid for what seemed like hours, when in reality it was only a couple of minutes.

“I’m sorry Finn. You were right I was being selfish. But I just don’t know how to let go.” Rachel said as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“No I’m sorry baby. You were only trying to help, and I shouldn’t have said those things I said. You only suggested what you did because you cared. I was just so frustrated, my mom was already giving me shit about it, and I just wanted you to support me.”

“I know, and I should have. But I can’t support something I don’t approve of Finn. But just because I don’t approve of it, doesn’t mean that I’ll stand in your way. Your decisions are always good ones, and if this is your decision then I’ll stand by you. I don’t commend it, but I’ll be here for you, always and forever.” She promised. He kissed the top of her forehead.

“Thank-you.” Rachel nodded.

“So what are your plans?” She asked.

“Blaine is going with me. We decided it together. I’m going to be working with Blaine in a computer field.”

“When do you leave?”

“The day after my birthday. We’re being stationed in Pennsylvania, we’re going to be training first, but we might get stationed else where.” Rachel sighed and tried to hold back the sobs that were approaching; she needed to be strong for him.

“What about Iraq?”

“I don’t know Rachel. It’s really something that might happen, but it’s not something to fear.” Rachel snorted.

“Yeah, ok.”

“Baby…”

“Finn, just hold me.” Rachel said turning on her side. Finn wrapped his arms around her, and they lay silently with each other.

Rachel knew that things were going to be complicated, and instead of avoiding it, she should face them head on, but she couldn’t right now. When it came to Finn, she never thought straight. All she ever thought about was being in his arms forever; nothing else mattered.