Where Are You Now?

Leaving

Chapter 25

Michelle's P.O.V

"Where are we going?" I ask him once we get in his fancy car. And now I'm not surprised why they have those cars after knowing everything.

"I just want to know if you are okay." He says starting the car. "I'm fine." I answer patting myself on the back of how many times I've lied telling people I'm fine.

"Show me your arm." He gently orders after a few seconds stopping the car a few buildings away from the school's building.

"Why?" I ask surprised of his order. "I want to make sure it's okay since it's my entire fault." He says impatiently waiting for me to show it to him and I raise the sleeve that's covering it.

"It's much worse than what it was when I saw it before." He says holding my arm then looking at me.

"It's fine. Now, take me back "I say moving my arm away from him and covering it back.

He starts the car but keeps driving to the opposite direction of school and I don't say anything. I wouldn't mind spending time with him even if it's a fight, I will take it. It is much better than him not being here anyway. I learnt to cherish the torturous silence between us, his cruel words and his cold eyes; because it's all better than nothing.

I guess that's what love is; taking whatever they give you good or bad and yet be grateful.

He stops the car after a few minutes in front of an old building which is in an almost abandoned neighborhood. "He is our doctor. He always takes care of us." He tells me and I nod. "Okay." Knowing who he means with us.

We both leave the car and he starts walking towards the building and I follow him. He climbs a long white old stairs outside the building and knocks on a small white door.

After a few knocks the door opens and it's a middle-aged man who is probably in the middle of his forties; opens the door.

"Hello." He says greeting us moving aside so that we could enter and closes the door behind us.

It's a small office that is fully white reminding me of the hospital. And the furniture isn't as old as the building.

"Is this the girl you told me about?" He says smiling and I smile back at him. "Ye... yeah." Josh says. "Let me see your arm." He says and I do as what he says.

"It's too deep." He says putting his glasses on. "Follow me." He orders and walks to another room which is smaller than the office but still all white.

"Sit here." He orders with a small smile. And it's an examination table which is so similar to the one I was tortured on. "It's okay." Josh whispers in my ear behind me and I nod sitting. "Let me see it." The doctor says holding my arm.

"If you left it for another week you would have lost your arm." He says and my eyes search for Josh's to see them full of guilt.

"I will write you exactly what you need and how often you should take them." He says leaving the room and Josh and I both follow.

He starts writing what is needed on a white paper and gives it to Josh. "Make sure to bring her after three days." He tells Josh and he nods." I'll see you after three days." He says smiling at me. "Thank you." I smile.

"I'll see you later." Josh tells him and we both leave the building and go down the long old stairs.

"Are you okay?" He asks turning to face me after we almost reach the car. "Yeah." I lie without looking at him controlling my tears and I could feel him getting closer. He lifts my chin up and forces me to face him just to see me so close to crying.

"Come here." He says pulling me closer to him and I place my arms around his waist burying my head into his chest and let go a deep breath that I didn't know I was holding.

"I'm so sorry." He says and my tears start falling down on him.

"Josh, where were you? All this time where were you?" I ask pulling away. "Hey, don't cry because of me. I don't deserve your tears." He frowns trying to wipe them away but I move away from his touch." Tell me." I order him. "I've been there all along. I know every single detail. Who came, who left. I would never leave you." He says looking at me with teary eyes.

"But it's better for both of us." He continues. "You don't get to decide by your own." I say looking everywhere but at him.

"You don't know the awful things they could have done to you there." He says and a tear falls down on his cheeks from his bright blue eyes.

"I don't care." I say shaking my head. "I do. I won't live with the guilt of seeing you hurt." He says raising his voice.

"Yet you agree to stay away and leave me in pain." I say cracking at the end and I look away so that he wouldn't see me break again.

"I will always be around if you need me." He gently says and I just nod without looking back at him.

He gets closer once again, but this time I could feel him breathing on me. "Don't cry." He whispers placing his forehead on mine. "Please." He begs looking at me.

"I love you." I whisper controlling my tears. "I love you way more." He breathes out and a small smile appears on his lips. "Then stay." I beg. "I'm always, always here." He says looking at the ground then back at me.

"Why doesn't it feel enough?" I ask more to myself than it's to him. "I don't know." He breathes putting my hair behind my ear.

"Come on, we need to get back." He says pulling away after a few seconds of silence.

He starts walking towards the car and I stand there for a few seconds knowing that it's another time that I've let him walk away.

I take a deep breath and follow him. He starts the car without saying a word and that's how the whole ride is spent. With a painful silence, too many words were left unsaid. Too many things I could have said that would have convinced him but all that I could think about was I love you.

He parks the car in front of the school's building and gratefully there is no one to be seen. We both leave the car and get inside. My guessing it's the last class before going home, before my dad comes to pick me up. Before going back to that awful place they call it home but doesn't feel like this anymore.

"I will bring you everything by tomorrow." He says looking down at me once we are in the school's corridors. "Okay." I say nodding not looking back at him and he places a kiss on my forehead before leaving once again.