I told the stars about you - Fillie

Another love.

Thantophobia. 

It means, the fear of losing someone you love. 

That night Millie slept for like two hours. She couldn't sleep, there was too much going on. How could they be so reckless, how could she kiss Finn in public. She knew that everything was fucked up. She looked at her phone, 6 AM. Why didn't she hear anything from Jacob? He must have seen it. The picture of them kissing was everywhere.

Suddenly she heard her phone ring. It was him. Her fingers were shaking. She pressed the green phone button. "H-hi." "Millie" he said shortly. "Jacob, it's like 3 AM in LA." "Yeah, well. I couldn't sleep." She knew exactly why he couldn't. She felt guilty. She knew he was furious. She didn't know what to say. "I saw the news", Jacob said. He knew. "And Millie, I never been so broken." Millie's anger grew immediately. "That was how I was feeling when you cheated on me two times. I mean three." "What the hell do you mean 'three'?" "Lily sent me a picture of you with this girl in the club. You-you were kissing her." She knew he was going to deny it. "That shouldn't give you the right to just kiss with that fucking Wolfhard boy!" He yelled. She knew that it was only becoming worse. "I know. I shouldn't have done that." Always staying the classy girl she was. She felt pathetic. She knew that he was wrong. He was wrong because he contacted her again. He was wrong because he had forced her in this stupid contact. He was wrong because he cheated on her, again. But know she did it too. And somewhere in her heart, she felt sorry for him, because she knew how it felt when someone betrayed you. 

"Jacob, you really hurt me again. I saw this photo of you and I didn't know what to do." "YOU SAW THIS PHOTO? THE WHOLE WORD SAW THAT YOU AND FUCKING WOLFHARD KISSED MILLIE!" He was screaming now. She tried to stay calm. "I know, but I can't turn it back! You cheated on me as well, for the FREAKING THIRD TIME!" She couldn't take it anymore. But then he said the thing that she was so afraid of: "you have to come home, Millie. You know that. Your parents already called me." She felt like she had to throw up. Her own parents they-they called Jacob?! Instead of her? "I can't, you know that. Im here for work." "You have to. Millie you have to, unless you want me to..." "TO DESTROY MY CAREER? YOU KEEP SAYING THAT!" She was screaming now. "You know I can do it, you know I can. With just one snap of my finger." "You know Jacob, I thought that somewhere in my heart there was a piece that could love you, that could learn to love you. But you destroyed it, you destroyed it the minute you decided to take over MY life." "It's your choice babe." She got so extremely nauseous when he called her like that. "You know that you can leave me, but you also know that that means the end of your career. And you know exactly why. So, come back to me. I can book you a flight. We explain it to your parents and we will say to the world that we are still together. Or do you want me to release 'it'?" he said, with the accent on 'it'. "No, you won't do that to me Jacob!" "Come home then, babe." She couldn't take it anymore and pressed the red phone button. She ran to the bathroom and threw up in the sink. 

...

Everyone was eating breakfast in silence. Finn knew why, he had seen it himself. He knew that his friends found them stupid and reckless. "Just kiss somewhere else, but not on the fucking street", Noah said this morning. He looked at her, she was a mess. He could understand it, since the whole word saw the photo. He had looked on her Instagram and saw all the hate she got, because she cheated on Jacob. If they knew that he cheated on her for the third time... Finn thought. 

Gaten suddenly spoke: "guys, I think that we maybe should talk about this, because we're best friends and I don't want to let this ruin the whole week." "I'm totally agreeing with you!" Sadie said. She spoke further: "we all know what happened last year and we all know that Millie is with Jacob." He saw that Millie was just staring outside. He hated that they were talking about her like she wasn't there. He loved his friends, but sometimes they drove him crazy. "Guys, we are just sitting on the table here! I know that we've messed up, I know that it was stupid to kiss in public, but I can't turn it back and to be honest, I wouldn't even wanted to" Finn said. He looked at Millie and she locked eyes with him, a tiny smile around her lips. He smiled back, trying to comfort her in some way. He looked at Noah then. He knew that Noah wasn't mad, he just found it reckless and stupid, because he knew Millies story as well.