THE PREACHER'S DAUGHTER || NBA YOUNGBOY

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT: IN THIS LIFE I LIVE

WARNING ⚠️

This chapter contains the following detail-oriented suicide attempts along with bipolar depression, death and suicide.

If you/you know anyone who suffers from the following: Depression or Suicidal thoughts these are the hotlines: 1-800-273-8255 (Suicide) 1-866-903-3747 (Depression)

Please call them. You are not alone.

And if you are triggered by this please stop right here and wait until next chapter.

Back In Atlanta...

NIGHTTIME
ATL, GA

— KYLIE HENDERSON

"Kylie what the fuck is wrong with you?!" My mom yelled at me as I was having a mental breakdown in the kitchen. Life is so fucked up for me right now. With the constant fighting at school, being alone at home, no social life anymore, and Lyric not returning my phone calls, I'm depressed!

"Everything!" I grabbed a plate from the sink and threw against the wall. My mama looked as if she was about to grab me so instead, I picked up a knife and held it against my temple. "Kylie what are you doing? Put the knife down." I could hear the shaking in my mama's voice. She was afraid as I was.

My hand was trembling from holding the knife to temple. "I'm sick of it mama! I'm just ready to go! I feel alone!" I cried. "Baby you are not alone I'm here with you." She said as she was coming closer to me slowly with her hands up trying to assure me that she's trying to help. But all she does is try and give me pills to shut me up.

"Yes I am! You are always gone! Ever since we gotten this house you've never been home! The only person who've been there for me is gone! And I hate her for that! I'm dealing with this shit by myself!Harassment for defending myself at school! I just got jumped three days ago! I'm getting sent threats from random numbers and being followed - I just want to die!" I cried letting my guard go with the knife. My mama came and instantly grabbed the knife from me throwing it in the sink then pulled me into a hug in her grasp.

I cried in her shoulders. "Calm down. I'm here now baby." She hugged me as I cried and wouldn't let me go. She took me to my room and made me lay down. I was calm in this moment as my breathing went back to normal.

I saw my phone lying flat down on the nightstand. I was about to reach for it, but my mama told me no instead gave me a cup of water with my medicine in her hand. "It's up to you Kylie." She looked at me with teary eyes.

I want to be myself again. I want to be okay without pills. But it seems like the pills will be the only way I'll get better. I don't want no one to see me like this, so I took my medicine. I took a sip of my water then laid down. She came right beside me and held me while crying. "Why are you crying mama?" I turned to look at her.

"Because I'm afraid. I don't want to lose you Kylie." She spoke. I let a tear before turning back around. I kept wiping my eyes, but the tears wouldn't stop falling down. I started to get sleepy, so I let my eyelids take over.

HOURS LATER...

I slept for what seemed like my life away. I turned over to my mama, she was sleep. I slipped from under her grasp and sat up. Looking over to my nightstand. My phone.

I grabbed it and I've seen text messages from unknown numbers sending me death threats.

People commenting on my social medias negatively. No calls from Lyric. I felt so angry to the point where I started crying again in silence. I'm dealing with this shit alone while she's living her best life. The number one person I can count on, right?