Wherever You Are

12

Sana's POV:

What did I do to deserve such pain? Why doesn't my mom recognize me? Have I done something wrong? If so, then I wish to know because... I really don't. Many years I've been gone to prove that I can be successful doing what I really love, but now... I hate to say, but I'm beginning to regret my every decision. I find myself running out of the house's door, but then the man who has the ability to calm the heaviest storms of my life grabbed me by my arm and hugged me so tight.

That moment was when I couldn't hold in all the pain. From the smallest reasons, the heaviest. From my unhappy childhood memories, to the criticism of people, to the hardships of all those auditions, to the hellish time being a trainee, to the hellish time in Sixteen, to all the bashing, issues, and the horrible threats that people send us, and now my own mother doesn't recognize me. How on Earth would I be able to cope up with this? I guess I could only grab onto Y/n's shirt and let it all out.

I burst into a river of tears as soon as Y/n pulled me to his chest. You know that feeling when you're not okay but you don't want to let it out, and then someone asks you if you're alright, but then you just burst into tears because deep inside you're already too broken to keep everything to your own. That's exactly how I felt at the moment. To break down all of a sudden because of all the crap that's happened in my life. I just want to say that I give up and just quit and leave.

But I can't.

I still have Y/n, and he can give me all the strength that I need. I know he will do that without a second thought. And I, too, will do the exact same thing for him. Slowly, my worries were taken away when Y/n kissed my head and whispered, "Everything will be okay, Sana. I might not know just how hard it is for you, but trust me, you'll be okay. I'll always be with you." That's all I need. For someone that I truly love to tell me that everything will be okay. Everything is uncertain, but at least those words can lessen all my worries.

Soon, my sobs have stopped, but that doesn't mean that the pain is gone. It still aches, but it meant that I already managed to stop it from showing. I was always like that ever since I was young. It all started when I began to get into dancing and singing and I started talking about how I badly wanted to audition. My relationship with my parents began to shrink at that time, and that was when they always told me that they will not support my decision on becoming an idol. I learned how to hide the pain.

I wrapped my arms around Y/n's waist and just snuggled my face onto his chest. He has one of his arms around my back and one of his hands was slowly brushing my hair. He didn't stop even when I stopped crying. Instead, he kissed the top of my head continuously and said, "I know how good you are at hiding how you really feel. But when you're with me, you don't have to hide it. You're free to let it all out because I know you know that I will always be by your side."

Those words made me fall for him even more. He knows me all too well. Every strength, weakness, how I'm feeling, and if I'm hiding something. I'm so thankful that I found him- I mean, that he found me. I was just doing calligraphy on my notebook when he saw me and approached. As soon as I saw his smile, my heart fluttered, and I already knew I had this huge crush on him. But when he said "Hey," I wanted to freak out, but I calmly replied with a simple, "Hi," before he asked if he could sit with me, and of course I let him.

I already felt comfortable with him days after that. He knew that I wanted to be a star, and he's the only one who believed that I can be one at that time. It was really hard for me, but I guess having a really supportive person can make a difference in my life. He made a HUGE difference in my life. Imagine if I didn't meet Y/n. I wouldn't have all that courage and will to pursue my dreams even without the support of my parents. Y/n and his mom were the only persons that treated me like family. But I don't hate my parents for that. I never will.