Wherever You Are

1

Y/n's POV:

It has been a few months ever since she left. It was hard for me to let her leave without even getting the chance to see her. I always sent her text messages, but she doesn't respond. I tried to call her, but I couldn't reach her phone. Of course I can't. She left months ago, and she probably just changed her phone or something.

I couldn't step outside of my room, and my mom was extremely worried for my well being. I open the door for her though. I don't isolate myself from the outside world, but I just didn't have the strength to step outside and face the world with a real smile... especially without her. I just got used to see her at our doorstep with a lunchbox wrapped in cloth within her palm.

I'm just used to walking down the sidewalk with her. Looking at her smile that extends from ear to ear whenever I'm with her. She's just the most wonderful thing that I've ever laid my eyes on. And the way she hooks her arms with mine whenever we pass by a group of boys, or whenever she gets excited.

She's really clingy, but I like the way she does it, because it makes me feel good, and it makes me fall deeper in love with her. I also remember all the times we spent together at malls, and parks, and beaches. Those were the best. But now, she left and I'm all alone. Sadder thing is... she didn't even tell me.

Was I nothing? How did I deserve to be treated like this? I'm not mad at her... I'm just... okay fine! I am mad at her!! I am so mad at her, that I'll kiss her when she comes back to me!! But I know she won't come back to me. She won't. And that is the most painful fact that I know.

I definitely lost it after a few more months. School had resumed. I decided to join in a group of delinquent teens and started to do dangerous things, ranging from stealing, street fighting, and then to alcohol, and smoking. Yes, I thought about my mom, but... I don't know... this is my happiness now.

A year already came from when Sana left. I was inside my room. It was a rainy night and the only light inside my room was the light of the street lamp from outside. That's when thoughts of her started to crash inside this stupid brain of mine... AGAIN! For Christ's sake!! Just when I'm about to sleep, that's when she- or rather my memories of her, strikes! And that's every night, and every single day that passes!

"Y/n!!!"

I started to hear her calling my name. I'm literally going crazy from missing her so much. I miss her so bad. It has already been a year, but why do I still miss her? Why do I still love her so much? I want her out of my head. I want all my memories of her to be erased.

My tears fell down from my eyes, then I covered my face with a pillow and started to let out my frustration by screaming and shouting at the top of my lungs. My life was ruined because of her. I got kicked out of two schools, and this will be the last time that I'll be moved.

My mom suddenly knocked at the door and called my name. "Y/n... can I come in?" she asked for my permission, and of course I gave her permission by saying, "Come in, Mom," but before I did that, I wiped away my tears first, then she slowly opened the door and walked towards me.

"Can I sit by your side?" she asked, then I shuffled to give her more space to sit on my single bed. I wasn't looking at her though. I was embarrassed with myself for being such a bad son. Ever since Sana left, I wasn't who I was before. And I know that it's wrong.

"Are you okay, Y/n?" she asked, then she placed her hand on my shoulder. I looked at her and smiled slightly, giving a hint of pain. She then smiled the same smile that I gave her. And then I felt pain inside my heart. A pain that I always felt whenever she would give me that smile.

"Don't you wanna eat?" she asked, then I just shook my head in response. "I'll pass, Mom. I'm sorry," I said, then I turned away once again. But I could tell that her smile faded away. I could feel her pain. And I felt it even more when she stood up and I heard her sobbing softly as she walked away.