The Girl With The Blue Eyes

Chapter 25

One week. It's been exactly 7 days since Eli and I have had sex. I've had 7 days to deal with it. I didn't like it. It wasn't what I was expecting at all. It wasn't even fun.

I told him that night that I had to get home cause my mom doesn't like to be home alone on Halloween. Of, course he begged me to stay which only made me feel worse so I stayed with him for another hour and a half.

The next day, Thursday, He came up to me in school and we did what we always did. We hung out at lunch and during study hall. He was more cheery.  It almost annoyed me.

Friday wasn't much better but I was able to breath a little bit. He didn't bother me all that much, he said not to wait up for him because he was going to hang out with some friends. I suspected a party.

Saturday, I stayed home. Eli didn't text or stop by. Too hungover I guess.

Sunday, I did the same things as I did the day before, stayed home, studied.

Monday, Eli was right back to his cheery self but it died down.

Tuesday, Things were starting to get back to normal.

Today, my mom pulled me into the living room after I got in from work. With a serious look on her face she didn't give me a chance to ask questions.

"I want you to have every human experience possible. You might have some sooner than others, like graduation, prom, I want you to have all of it. You're 17 now I just want you to be carefull. You and Eli are getting pretty serious, more serious than I would like you to be, but you've seen the health videos, you know the risks, and you know to use protection."

Mom what are you talking about?

"Sex. I know what you're thinking 'Mom Eli and I would never!' but keep in mind that you might not know if you're ready until you're actually facing the situation."

Mom don't strain yourself trying to explain, I get it.

"No but honey I want to explain. It's one of the things mothers have to go through. And one day you'll have to go through it too." She moved a lock of my hair out my face. "If your father were here he would be sweating like a pig, he wouldn't even be able to get the first word out." She chuckled.

Mom Eli and I had sex. I couldn't think about my dad right now. I couldn't even focus on beating around the bush with telling her. I need her. I need someone to talk to about this.

She looked taken back. Her eyes wide with shock. Her thin lips parted slightly, then she closed them and opened them again, unsure of what to say.

I don't even know what to say. Maybe I shouldn't say anything. Why did I say anything in the first place? I had sex, big whoop. Everyone does. If I have a problem dealing with my first time I should just handle it alone.

But I shouldn't have to. I should be able to talk to someone about it. Not Kevin, another woman, a woman with experience, my mom.

She held my phone in her hands and it looked like it was about to slip out. I quickly grabbed it out her hands, ready to type an explanation, but my fingers hovered over the keyboard. It was then that I took in all the details of the room, what my mom was wearing and her hairstyle for the day.

"When?" Her voice was low but clear.

A week ago.

Silence again. She's mad. I know she is.

You're mad. It wasn't a question.

"No I'm not mad. I'm not mad that you had sex, I'm upset that you didn't tell me sooner."

I'm telling you now. And besides it's not exactly easy to explain.

"Explain what?"

Okay here we go. I didn't like it. It wasn't what I thought it would be.

"You weren't ready?" She gasped.

No I was ready but I think I'm in love with someone else.

"In love with someone else?"

I was ready just for the wrong person.

"Who is this someone else?"

Some guy in my science class.

"He's not just some guy if you're in love with him."

Uhm, maybe I need to just sleep on it. I'm pretty tired.

"Of course. We can talk about it some other time." She smiled.

I gave her a quick hug before collecting my things and heading up stairs.

I guess it's safe to say that this is the hardest thing that I have had to go through. Loosing my voice wasn't so hard. It was more of a challenge, now I can't imagine my life with a voice. But this. This is hard. To leave Eli for him. To break Eli's heart and go after the one person he has only been able to really rely on.

And to be with him. The risks, the secrecy.

Eli and I have nothing in common. Eli has his hobbies and his interest. I've tried to get into some of the things he likes but it's just not my thing.

He likes to read. He loves the music that I'm into. He cooks. He loves movies. He might like different types of music and movies and book, but I'm willing to try. It might even be fun. And who knows, maybe he'll try too.

But Eli gives me a sense of danger, the good danger. He's different from me, more experienced and I like that. He can teach me things.

But I have to admit it to myself. I need to deal with this because every time I think about him the more I will fall for him. And the more I fall for him the more I don't fall for Eli.

I am in love with Tristan Smith.

(If I could make good edits I would post them but I don't. People have these apps and editing softwears that I really don't have. But anywho, I hope you enjoy the chapter, Happy Thursday!)