eighteen

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《CHAPTER EIGHTEEN》

CARTER LAY ON HER bed in the hotel room in Germany

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CARTER LAY ON HER bed in the hotel room in Germany. She could hear the TV in the room just outside as Happy watched a movie. She was staring up at the ceiling, her hair dampening the covers around her after just previously taking a shower. Her new (now dirty) suit hung in the hotel's wardrobe. Happy explained to her and Peter that Tony had to go to a medical emergency place as Rhodey has been seriously injured. After completely assuring her that Rhodey would be okay, Carter went to wash the dirt out of her hair and finger nails.

As she was in the shower, she processes the day's events. Steve was now gone. Gone where, she didn't know. For how long, she didn't know that either.

She became frustrated at her powers. They were only good for killing, maiming or being a coward. They weren't powers to fight with, they were the ability to hide or run away faster than the normal person. She didn't want to kill or maim anyone. The robots in Sokovia were different; they were only hunks of metal, but harming real people was different.

So, by process of elimination, her powers could only aid her in her attempt to flee a situation. Just like she had used them to escape the lab. Just like how she had used them to follow Tony, even though he didn't want to be followed by a 10-year-old messed up girl. Just like how she left Laura and Clint's house to go and fight in a battle that she had no business being in, but insisted on being a part of nevertheless.

Her mind then wandered to Lila. She missed her. Her and Cooper were the only people around her age that she had ever met. She wished she could be back in her house, sitting at the table and colouring in silly little pictures for the Avengers.

Ah, The Avengers. Just like she had thought about right before the airport battle, her thoughts strayed to whether or not she wanted to be one of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes. She knew she wasn't one, not by a long shot, but she often thought about what would happen if she was given the chance one day. The many thoughts of yes, why would I turn that down? accompanied by no, no, no, that's not what I want to do. I'll never be ready constantly filled her head. She felt selfish whenever the negative thoughts came into her head and then annoyed at herself for thinking she was being selfish, then once again annoyed at thinking she was not selfish. It was all one vicious cycle of self-doubt.

A little while after staring at the ceiling, Tony arrived in her room.

"Hey, kid. You alright?" he spoke in a sad tone.

She sat up to look at him. "Hi. I'm fine. Is Rhodey okay?"

"He will be."

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