Palas

25. "Just knock three times."

We're at McDonalds. Harry is still not really talking to me, but I can't blame him. The more I think about my father, the angrier I get. I love the man to death and that's why I don't like him almost sending me here to work for his debts. And then he goes around drinking - which I didn't expect him to stop - and trying to cook when the man can barely light his cigarette without burning something or someone.

I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to him and that makes me anxious.

Also I still don't like Harry with a beanie. I'm melting.

He already finished his happy meal and I'm playing with my fries - something I usually find disgusting. But I can't help myself as my mind is spinning with all the possibilities of how my father can hurt himself while I'm gone.

From the moment my mother left us, I have been worrying about him. Protecting him from the age of seven and it hits me now that I have been gone for over a week, how much of that defines me. It's no wonder why I'm so different here. Not cleaning up after myself and eating fries every day. Trying to be friends with Rosie while normally I wouldn't even bother. It's all to find some base here, something so different from my life in England. An escape.

My head snaps up to Harry whose been studying me while I came to the conclusion that I am here for the exact same reason as him. Why else would I leave the two people I love the most to go to Palas if it wasn't to break free from something? Those few months that we'll be out of our debts sooner won't make a difference. And I would have found a job in the end.

I'm here to escape my responsibilities.

It's strange to come to terms with the fact that I wanted to be away from my family and boyfriend. Harry can read from my face that there's really something wrong.

"Are you ever going to tell me what's bothering you?"

His eyes are warm and welcoming as he stares deeply into my own. It almost hurts to look at him.

"What exactly did you wanted to break free from?" I always find it the best remedy to answer a question with another one.

He frowns putting some of the puzzles pieces together of what has been on my mind the last hour.

"My mother," he answers after a while.

"Why?"

"Because she always made me feel bad about myself. Everything I did was wrong in her eyes," he explains. "After a while I was done with trying to prove myself. I'm not cut out for college or to succeed my father's business. I tried to fight it, I tried to show my mother that I am a good person but it both wasn't enough to let her open her eyes. When my sister turned her back on me also I left with Kate. Since she lost her family as well, it seemed logical. Best decision ever. Even though last year was eventful, I still love Palas."

"I think it is brave what you have done. But don't you miss your sister?"

He shrugs as he leans back in the plastic chair. "I've learned to deal with it. You see, we were really close when we were young. She's only a year older than me and I have always been very protective over her. If someone even threatened to hurt her I would get mad, hit them even at the age of five."

He laughs at some memory of him and his sister before he continues. "She was one of the few people I counted on, so when she choose our mother's approval over Kate I started to despise her. I call her from time to time, but when you asked me the other day, I came to the realization she never calls me. So why still bother."

I fold my hands in front of me looking down to them. I can't count the times my hands were covered with my father's large ones because there's so many. I feel for Harry and that he never felt love from a parent. I at least have one parent who loves me.