Palas

55. "I don't know."

Never before have I been as nervous for diner with Harry as I am tonight. How am I going to act casual and like friends if all I can think about is the way he touched and kissed me?

I'll know the answer soon enough since Harry is already banging on my door. Before he made a stupid promise to Rosie that he would ignore me, we were so comfortable with each other that he wouldn't even wait for me to answer a 'Come in!', he would just barge in. Tonight he even waits until I open the door myself.

He eyes me for a second and I too look down to my outfit. It might have been a bit over the top to meet James, but I do like the pink ensemble. It's just something Harry has never seen me wear so I understand that his eyes linger on my hips a bit too long. The skirt is tight.

"Hey," he says as he hands me a bottle of red wine.

"Thanks," I speak back and take the bottle to put on the counter where a stir fry is waiting to be eaten.

"Since you always make too much for us two, I invited Louis and Ava over if that's alright?"

Harry is so close to me that I can feel his warmth radiate on me as I whirl the chicken and vegetables around. It is enough for four people, but I wish I could be alone with Harry.

"Sure," I answer but I know my voice sounds anything like I am sure with it.

Harry surprises me when he touches my arm but he's only pushing me away so that he can grab two more plates. I watch him walk outside where I had arranged a seating plan for two. Candles and all.

We always have had candle light diners since there isn't that much light when it's dark, but tonight it felt different to light the candles. Maybe it is a good thing that Ava and Louis are coming. I somehow managed to push Harry away because I don't want to be his friend with benefits but I am not sure if I can be as strong again. Judging from the way he looks he might have trouble with that as well. His shoulders are tense, but visibly relax when Louis bangs on the door.

"Hi there," he says and walks right passed me towards Harry to give him what I call the man-hug. It looks like the way James hugged me today as well and the way Harry hugged me after I set his tattoo. It looks like we really are friends. "Oh, Liam is coming over as well, after dinner."

I look to the ceiling to collect my thoughts and not curse at Louis for ruining my night in with Harry. "Why don't we invite Niall over as well?" I bite to both men.

"Okay?" Louis says in a guessing voice, not sure if I am angry or really mean my offer. "I'll app him."

Louis and Harry walk up to my balcony as if they own the goddamn place. Ava eyes me and I do the same with her. Yesterday we spent the day on the beach, relaxing and talking about literally everything and nothing. She reassured me a million times that she's okay, but I find it hard to believe you can be okay with your own dad in jail. But I, of course, have a different relationship with my father than she had with Zeno. Had, because she intends to never speak to him again.

"Everything okay?" Ava whispers.

"No. God, I don't know why but it is as if he's scared to be alone with me."

"He probably is after you made sure he can't touch you as long as you're friends," she explains. She said something similar yesterday as well, but I find it hard to believe that someone who sleeps with a different girl every night can have the brain to be such a gentlemen. "But it is a good sign that he can't stay away from you either."

"If only he said that he wants to be more than friends, then I would be okay with it. That would be enough," I tell her and she nods because Ava understands me. Harry probably thinks I want to marry him.