Don't Let Me Be Gone

One Hundred & Sixteen

I hate myself

I'm such a bitch

I'm going to kill myself or something

Why do I keep fucking everything up and hurting people

I'm sorry I threw a crybaby fit over this stupid fucking book I hate this fucking book now almost as much as I hate myself

Im sorry

I'm so fucking sorry

I'm so sorry A_Remus_kin_lol
Please answer me I didn't mean to be such a bitch I'm sorry I freaked out on you please don't delete your account because of me I could never forgive myself it's not your fault and you're not dumb you just didn't know better please tell me you're okay

I'm so fucking sorry

Patton POV
I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, trying to create some heat.  It's freezing in Logan's room and I don't know why. 

Fall is finally coming for Thomas, so it is for the mindscape too.  It was the first frost last night but no one will turn on the heat.

Despite putting my hoodie on and burying myself beneath blankets, I was still cold.  I've completely cocooned myself, yet I'm still cold.

Considering that Logan and I seldom sleep alone, I dragged every blanket in my room to Logan's room. He keeps it so cold and it's unbearable.

Logan was sitting at his desk, working of stuff.  Stuff involving the parasite, where Quinn could be, and how to get him back.  Deceit's been loosing his mind, even though it barely even been a day since we found of Quinn was taken.

Logan seemed unaffected by the cold, just continuing to work.  It's early in the morning, so far it's been pretty uneventful.  Remus is watching Evan.  Roman and Virgil are in Roman's room.  Deceit is recovering in his.

Everything is okay.  We'll have Quinn back in no time...right?

"Lo?"  I mumbled, hugging my knees closer to my chest. 

"Yes Patton?"  He asked, continuing to work.

"Aren't you cold?" I asked, not wanting to bring up why I actually wanted him to talk to me.

"I can assure you I am fine," Logan told me in a gruff voice, obviously annoyed and tired.

"Sorry," I mumbled. Logan didn't seem to hear me, getting too engrossed in his work again.

I wanted Logan to talk to me for two reasons.  One being that I can tell I'm going into a bad depressive episode.  Two being I can tell he's overworking himself, not getting enough sleep or food.

For someone so smart he doesn't seem to take very good care of himself.  I wonder if it has to do with how he doesn't understand emotions.

I slowly shoved all the blankets off me. Pulling my hoodie sleeves down over my hands, I tip toed over to Logan.

I grabbed his chair and spun it around quickly so that he was facing me. He looked up at me in surprise.

I sat down on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. He was cold to the touch.

"Cuddle me and shower me with love and affection," I told him with a giggle. He rested his hands on my hips and I could feel a little tug of a smile on his face.

"And why should I do that?"  He asked in a teasing manor. 

"Because you love me,"  I told him with a smirk. 

"That I do,"  He mumbled, pressing a few kisses to my forehead. 

"Please stop working on this stuff,"  I begged him.  "You're overworking yourself again and ignoring me."

I saw fear and sadness flash in his eyes.  His face remained neutral but he couldn't stop how easily I could see through him with just my eyes. 

"Are you okay Patton?"  He asked, his voice actually showing emotion.

"No,"  I admitted, barely louder then a whisper. 

"That will not do,"  He mumbled to himself.  "Come on, what do I have to do to make you feel better?"

He stood up, holding me in his arms.  He carried me over to the bed and sat me down in it.

"Cuddle me,"  I told him.  Logan nodded and sat down next to me.  It didn't take long for me to attach myself to Logan's midsection. 

"Would you like to watch some tv?"  He asked. 

"Can we watch Moana?" 

"Of course,"  Logan said, turning the tv on.

"Love you Logie,"  I told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

"I love you too Patton,"  He told me, wrapping one arm around me.  He used his other arm to grab the remote and start Moana.

We stayed like that for the majority of the day.  Just cuddling and watching Disney movies.

A/N
I'm so so so so sorry tonight's update is so shitty

Just something really bad happened and I'm not in a good place now

I'm so so sorry I'm such a bitch

I can't stop shaking and I can't write but I'd feel bad if I didn't

I'm sorry