Don't Let Me Be Gone

Nine

A/N : after lots of comments about wanting an update: I decided to write some more chapters here ya go.  Sorry I haven't posted in a while

TRIGGER WARNING : talks about the suicide attempt and self harm

Logan POV :
Never did I think I'd see the day when one of the sides, besides Patton, would actually make me feel emotion.

But seeing Virgil hanging limply from a rope in the middle of the room is something that could break even the most strong minded person.

Patton turned to me, burying his face in my chest sobbing heavily. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and rested my chin on the top of his head.

I felt a few tears fall down my cheeks as I watched Roman shakily stand up and pull Virgil's body down from the rope.

Patton POV :
I felt my heart shattering as Roman broke down the door and made the scene visible to all of us.

I let out a chocked sob as I saw Virgil hanging there. 

My poor dark strange son. I started sobbing almost instantly. I wrapped my arms around myself and started shaking.

I turned quickly and buried my face in Logan's chest. I felt him wrap his arms around me and rest his chin on my head. I kept sobbing until I collapsed to the floor, unable to stand.

Logan fell with me, keeping me from smacking into the floor. I curled up in his lap, sobbing heavily into his chest. Logan rocked back and forth trying to calm me, but I could feel his own shaky breathes as he tried to keep himself from crying.

Thomas POV :
The second Roman opened the door. The second I saw Virgil hanging from the rope. The second I saw the bloody cuts on his wrists, I regretted everything.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry." I mumbled over and over again. I reached out for the door frame to steady myself. Tears started falling down my cheeks.

Patton turned and started crying while being held by Logan. I watched silently as Roman gently took Virgil down from the rope.

This is all my fault. I never should have taken those pills. I never should have yelled at him. I should've been there for him. I shouldn't have blamed him for everything wrong with me. This is all my fault.

Roman POV :
My heart shattered into a million pieces the second I saw Virgil. He hung limply from the ceiling. His beautiful face was streaked with eye shadow from crying.

I stood up quickly and reached a hand out to grab his hand and that's when I noticed the cuts. Seeing all those old scars and the newer still bleeding cuts hurt me.

It was the first time I've ever seen him without his hoodie. He's so small and frail looking, I realized as it dawned on me that we barely see him eating.

I looked back up at him and realized at this instant that I did care about him, a lot more than just friends should. That no matter how much I would make fun of him, I'd go through hell and back to protect him.

But I'll never get to tell him that. Because he's gone and it's all my fault.

I started sobbing. Quickly, I pulled over a chair and stood on it. With shaky hands I lifted up Virgil's body and pulled the rope off from around his neck.

I felt a nauseous feeling rising in my stomach as I looked at the bruises around his neck. I held onto him bridal style and stepped off the chair.

I pushed the chair away with my foot and than dropped to my knees. I sobbed, putting my forehead down on his.  I started rocking back and forth. 

"I'm sorry, I should've been here for you."  I whispered as quietly as possible.  "I shouldn't have been rude or mean.  I should've just told you the truth." 

I ran my fingers through his hair.  I kept crying and clutching onto his body for what felt like an eternity. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked up to see Logan.  Behind him I saw Thomas sitting by the door, who just had a blank stare.  No expression in his eyes.  He was curled up against the wall looking at me and Virgil.  Patton was next to him, still sobbing.

"Let me look at him."  Said Logan quietly.  "To see what happened." 

"Can't you see."  I chocked out.  "We killed him.  He killed himself and it's our fault.  All my fault." 

"We can't die until Thomas dies."  Said Logan.  "There's a small chance he might not be dead." 

I nodded slowly, letting Virgil's body slide off my lap and onto the floor. 

Logan POV :
I looked over Virgil's body as Roman put him down onto the floor.  I tried to search for any signs of life. 

My searches were futile.  I felt a tear fall down my cheek.  I should be able to save him.  I should know how to help him.  Why don't I know what to do?!

I reached down and felt around his neck for a pulse.  I looked at the strangulation bruises from the rope around his neck.  I sighed, finding no pulse. 

I reached down to his wrist to check for a pulse there, but my fingered grazed over the cuts and I flinched, drawing my hand back.  I looked at the cuts, which would need lots of bandages and antibiotics if-WHEN he wakes up. 

Still no pulse.  I sighed in defeat, placing my hand on his chest.  But that's when I felt it. 

Somewhere from inside him, I detected a very faint heartbeat.