Superflash:Collison Course (Volume 1)

Chapter 22: Return

After Barry’s sacrifice, Kara felt lost. She returned to National City and her apartment. Meeting Barry had changed her in so many ways and it was the first time she really felt loved. Without him by her side, she stopped writing about superheroes and went back to the fluff stories she had started with. All of their friends offered up their sympathy, but she just decided that being Kara was too painful and threw herself into being Supergirl. For weeks she shut herself off from her humanity. And for a while, everyone let her do what she needed to in her grief.

Eventually Alex, Joe, and Iris, they all tried to comfort her, but Kara became colder as a result. She put on a brave face because that’s what everyone expected. Three months in after one particularly dangerous fight with another Fort Rozz escapee, she nearly crossed a line, only Clark was able to stop her as he had been in National City to check up on her. When she flew off, he followed her, even though he knew she didn’t want to see anyone.

“Kara…you can’t keep going on like this.”

“What would you know about it Clark? At least you’ve still got Lois. I’ve got no one.”

“That’s not true and you know it. You’ve got friends and family that would do anything for you at the drop of a hat. Even Barry’s friends are willing to be there for you. How long are you going to keep shutting us all out?”

“And how do you expect me to face Barry’s friends? How do you think they’ll react if they see me? Do you think they’ll forgive me for letting him die?!”

“Kara, you didn’t let Barry die. He made a choice; he made the hero’s choice. He gave his all to save all of us, especially you and me. And I know he wouldn’t want me to let you go on ignoring your pain. I know he wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

“Well, we’ll never know. Because I’ll never get to see him again. Never feel his hand on my face, to see the warmth in his eyes as he tells me he loves me. If this is what being human feels like, if this is what being Kara Danvers has to be, then I’m not going to be her anymore.”

“Kara…”

“Please leave; Clark.”

Clark flew off without another word; he knew that Kara didn’t really mean what she had said. Alex had told him she needed to grieve properly; he had just wanted to see her for himself. When she was alone, Kara changed out of her Supergirl uniform into Barry’s sweatshirt, and sat in her window seat staring at the sunset. Even when they were miles apart in Central City and National City, she knew Barry was watching the same sunset she was. Knowing that always gave her a feeling of hope, but now she just felt empty. Just like always, she gets lost in her thoughts.

“Barry…why did you leave me? Our engagement only lasted two months. I know we didn’t have much of a future planned out yet, but what we had decided on was enough.”

As midnight rolled in Kara moved to her bedroom, hoping to find a semblance of peace in sleep. But even then when she closed her eyes, she could still see the lighting storms, she could feel the electricity in the air as the man she loved was gone, and her heart was breaking all over again.

Months passed the same way, day in and day out Kara would protect her city as Supergirl, occasionally checking in at the D.E.O., but avoiding any and all conversations that had to do with her personal life. While she knew she couldn’t avoid the conversations forever, she was going to do her best. Alex began to approach her more frequently, but Kara always flew away before her sister could even speak. Most of the time she found herself at Barry’s testing ground, but even there she failed to find peace.