Brothers

Chapter 11

Hardin's POV

"I can't believe you're making me do this."

"I know. But it means a lot to your brother that you agreed to go. And besides, I think it'll be good for you two to talk everything through and fix your relationship."

"What's there to fix? He's the one who ruined our family. He's the one who couldn't get sober, couldn't pay off his debts to those assholes, my mums the one who..." I wince, cringing at the thought of it, I close my eyes.

"Tessa I don't want to go. I can't do this — I hate him." My voice cracks.

"I know it's hard baby, but I think you should give him a chance. He's trying. Your mom forgave him. I think it's time you did too."

Tessa pulls me closer to her chest and puts her arms around my waist. She smiles.

"Just promise me you'll try and have fun okay, remember this is for Anastasia not your brother?"

"I can't." I clench my jaw.

"Why not?" Tessa rolls her eyes at me.

"You made me promise to be on my best behavior." I give her a small smile.

I'm trying, but every bit of me wants to beat christian to the ground and cause as much pain to him that he did to our mum. How could I forgive someone who left it up to their family to pay for his mistakes. Memories flash through my mind of the men that came to their house for their money only to find Christian gone. The men took everything they had left, and then beat their mom until she couldn't even walk. Flashes of the men dragging me from underneath the dining room table and being thrown into that dark closet haunt me. Our father and his brother had caused so much pain and so many scars that no bandaid was big enough to fix them. I was just a kid, and my childhood was tainted because of his families mistakes. Until I met Tessa, there didn't seem like a reason to live, I drank the pain away, fucked every girl I could. It was a temporary fix. Tessa was my anchor, she pulled out of the darkness and gave me a reason to live. For her.

—

When I saw my brother for the first time since the cafe, it almost seemed impossible to be on my best behavior. As much as I wanted to, for Tessa.

"Tessa. Thank you so much for coming tonight. Anastasia is so happy you guys could make it." Christian smiles.

"Well I wouldn't miss it for the world. Anastasias work is amazing." Tessa smiles back.

I take Tessa hand into mine. I needs something to calm me down. To hold me back from what I wants to say to my brother. Or do for that matter.

I can feel Christians eyes on me.

"It's good to see you brother. It really means a lot to me that you came." Christian pats me on the back, but I shrugs his hand off him.

"Yeah." I huff, setting his focus on the floor.

Tessa nudges me.

Christian is silent for a moment and I can still feel his eyes on me, but I don't look up,

"Hardin, can I please talk to you outside for a moment?" I snap my head up and then to Tessa for her to save me.

"I —" I begin to speak.

"Please, just give me ten minutes. That's all I ask." Christian begs.

I look at Tessa, who looks at me waiting for my answer. I breathe in, and then put.

"Fine. But only ten minutes. No longer."

I grip Tessas hand as I walk away with Christian.

Christian gives Tessa a smile, Tessa giving him a look of her own as if to say "good luck"

—

The noisy city fills the air as Christian and I step outside. I puts my hands in my pockets, still not making eye contact with his brother. I set my focus on the tall, lit buildings across from us. I lean up against the building, and Christian leans up on the building next to me.

"So what did rly want to say Christian?"

You're still mad at me I see." Christian huffs.

"I already told you, I can never forgive you for what you —" Hardin is cut off.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me Hardin. I get it, I fucked up. Don't you think I know that? I spent the last thirteen years dealing with the guilt of what I did to you and what I did to mum. I get it I left you, I get it I left my problems for mum to deal with. Every time I look at mum, every time i look at you I'm constantly reminded of what a fuck up I am. What I did to this family. But I'm standing here, asking you to give me a chance. I'm trying to be the older brother to you that I never was before." Christian's voice cracks.

"And what if I don't want you to. What if it's too late?" my voice gets louder. A couple walks past the building Christian and I are standing and look towards me. I sink down and look down at the ground. I lower my voice.

"Ever since that night, I can't sleep. I haven't slept in thirteen years. Because every time I close my eyes all I see is my mum — those guys. And it's is all your fault." I choke back tears, I slide down to the ground and sit on the cold concrete.

Christian slides down next to me.

"I know hardin. I know sorry isn't going to fix it. Just please. Just give me a chance to show you that I'm better now. I want you to be in my life. I want to be in your life." Christian moves closer to me but I move away. I close my eyes, blocking the tears that try to force their way out. I breathes in.

"If you hurt mum again. Or anyone that i care about. We're done. And I won't hesitate this time to beat your head into the ground"

My words are softer than before, but still has an edge to them.

"I know — and I won't. I'm not the same man I was before. I got help. I promise." Christian moves to pat me on back but I flinch.

"Let's just take things slow. Alright." I give a small smile.

"You got it." Christian laughs. "I love you, Bro."

He says looking at me with a soft smile. I look at my brother and then to the ground. After moments of silence, I speak up.

"Enough of this alright. Let's not get all sappy now. People might think we're a couple." Hardin chuckles.

"Eh. You're not my type sorry." Christian laughs. "We better go back inside before Anastasia and Tessa think we're killing each other out here."

We get up and brush off the dirt on our pants. We head towards the door and we walk back into the building, the door shutting behind us.