Save Me (Kim Namjoon X Readers)

Chapter 11

The blanket ruffled around, and eventually, was tossed to the side. Although your eyes were tired, your mind couldn't stop running. It's been two nights since everything came into light. Through your closed windows, you could make out the shape of the moon. It was one of those nights where it was shaped like a crooked finger, but it was your favorite.

As quietly as you could, you pushed the window back. Since your room was located on a narrow hill that faced the river, you could see its surface clearly. The water was full and still, unlike the vacancy in your heart. It yearned for the nights together with Seokjin, when your head was on his chest and he would sing sweet songs against your ear. The songs that whispered his love for you, the love you wish was real. At this point, you doubted he had ever meant any words and it had always been Namjoon that told him what to do and say.

Namjoon, the name only brought back bittersweet memories and you didn't deserve to say his name any longer. It was because of you that he lost his home and his job. Not only that, but he is out there alone with a broken heart. No one should have to live like that.

The river was quiet, an awful sound right now. Normally, under the blazing sun, it would be bustling with women carrying baskets of vegetables and fruits walked along the stream, and their baskets would be empty at the end of the day. Young maiden girls would wash their feet after attending classes. Fishermen rowing up and down, making ends meet. Once, you saw the shape of a young man and your heart leaped. It was wishful thinking considering he was coming back, especially not for you. You had always observed them from your window as you sit and sew. Never had it occurred to you to go talk to them and ask them to tell you their name or stories. There was a bubble that your parents weaved for you and you never found the courage to break it.

The sight of the river continued to hurt you. Sighing, you turned away from the window and looked at your table. The objects were no longer there. Hana had tossed them out with your permission, they were of no use any longer. Your parents had also returned all the gifts the Kim had ever brought over for the wedding. It was unfortunate that Lord Kim and your father were currently on bad terms, they had been friends for so long. But your father would sacrifice anything for your happiness. In the morning, you would tell them that you are fine.

Just as you were about to close the windows, a strong gust of wind shook your body. It blew the daisies away, good riddance, you thought. But something else caught your eye. As ominous as it could be, a puff of fog glided in on the surface of the calm water. The fog had a strand green tint to it, as if was cursed.

The same, empty rowboat appeared exactly where Namjoon used to wait as he watched you and Seokjin.

Your heart foolishly pounded in your throat, even though you knew it couldn't have belonged to him. But still, every detail of its appearance was clear to you. The carving on the rear, the chip of the paddle, it was his. He had been rowing for a few days, surely he would be out of the town by now. Still, you couldn't help your feet. Scrambling outside, you couldn't bite down the excitement and relief that has been building up for so long. If it was him, you would finally be able to apologize and undo everything that was wrong.

There was also the possibility that he wouldn't see you, let alone hear your apology. He would probably shun you away, as it was in his rights. But he did come back, and you had already tripped and scraped your hand, there was no point in hesitation. The grass tickled your feet. The boat, luckily was near enough that the water would only go past your knees. Up close and with the fog gone, you could tell that the boat was empty. The excitement and happiness washed away quickly.

Your fingers graze the edge of the boat, hoping it would point you in the direction of Namjoon. Beneath the seat laid a familiar object, the pouch that you sewed Namjoon. The memories of it flooded you. Since he wasn't noble, he wasn't allowed to have a jade pendant. You felt that it was an unfair rule so you secretly made him a pouch for him. You were pleasantly surprised to see him wearing it every day, except now. The object was a pain that he no longer wanted. Clutching it close to your heart, you let a sob out. One that had been waiting to be released. Chills ran down your spine at the thought of Namjoon doing anything to hurt himself because of you. No, you shook your head, he couldn't have, not for you.

"I do not know where you are, and I am not asking you to come back. But you need to live happily. Stay mad at me, hate me for all eternity, that is alright. But you need to live." you cried harder, hot tears splashing on the surface of the lake.

The boat rocked back and forth without you touching it. The wind came back, blowing daisies across your face. The force made your eyes burn. You squeezed them shut, wondering if you had caught up in the middle of a storm. But as quickly as it appeared, the wind vanished in thin air. When you opened your eyes again, you were not alone.