Save Me (Kim Namjoon X Readers)

Chapter 23

After a few hours of making sure that Yoongi was actually better, instructing the town how to make the remedies, and saying goodbye to Taehyung, the party was setting off for Lord Jung's manor. One again, you sat with Lady Park in the palanquin. "You seem...happier. Did something happen?" she asked. She had noticed the air of awkwardness disappearing between you and Namjoon as the party was preparing to leave. It was the first time she saw Namjoon's genuine smile, one that she knows only comes out with you.

The comment made you blush. "I'm not sure if something has changed. But I feel that we're understanding each other more." you explained.

"Does it mean you're ready to admit your feelings for him?"

"Well, even if I do, I'm not sure if he still feels the same way about me. I still sense that something is holding him back, or taking him away from me." Despite the fact that he hugged you back and didn't seem completely disgusted by the act, he still hadn't properly looked at you. It was as if he was still afraid of you, that you would break his heart even further. In reality, he wasn't ready to admit to himself that he would let you break his heart everyday if that meant he could see you.

"If that's the case, it makes even more sense that you chase after it with all your might." Lady Park pressed on

You nodded, "I guess you're right. I don't want to let Namjoon go."

"I'm very glad of that. At least one of us will get our happy ending." she whispered. Her finger traced the outline of the window, like a bird trapped in an invisible cage. You felt empathetic to her case, and felt guilty that there was nothing you could do for her or for Commander Jeon.

"I wish you happiness no matter where you are." That was the only thing you could say to her at that point. She appreciated the sentiment. Outside, the men were having a similar conversation.

"So what's your plan for after getting rid of the curse?" Commander Jeon asked. Namjoon felt odd that the man was trying to talk to him, but he found no harm in being honest.

"I'm not sure. I was thinking about staying in Silver Stone." he answered.

"Staying there with Lady Song?" the commander asked, mainly being sarcastic. He found it amusing, Namjoon's relationship with you. It was like dotting puppies, he couldn't figure out who was more attracted to who.

Namjoon shook his head bitterly, "No of course not. She'll go back to her family, and marry some nobleman and live the rest of her life in quiet contentment."

"Is that what she wants?"

"Perhaps. It's her duty, her right, to marry a handsome man and live carefree." Namjoon shrugged.

Commander Jeon hummed, "Is that what you want?"

"I don't think it matters what I want. I have no place in her life. I'm like a speck of dust passing in the wind."

"A speck of dust that compelled her to leave the safety of her home and ventured into an unknown world."

"It's the curse," Namjoon stated stubbornly. He was trying to convince himself that's the only reason why you were still with him, and being nice to him. The curse.

"Do you know that for sure? Have you asked her?"

"I don't need to."

The other boy shook his head, giving up to the naive bewitched boy. "Whatever you say. And it might not be my place to tell you this, hell, I'm bringing the person I love to marry someone else, but chase after this before you regret it for the rest of your life. I can't do anything about my situation, or maybe because I am a coward and can't bring myself to it. Don't make the same mistake I made."

"But what if she doesn't want me? What if I fall and drown myself in wishful thinking?"

"What if you fly?" Commander Jeon retorted. "But if she doesn't love you, and you have confirmed that, then you are able to live with yourself."

Namjoon sighed, knowing full well the commander was right. He hadn't asked for sure, he had only doubted your real intentions even though you have told him many times you wanted to truly help him. And although he had made up his mind to leave you, he hadn't thought about the implications of never seeing you again, something that would surely kill him. He longed for your voice, your laughter, and after that hug, all of you.

When the sun was beginning to descend, the light coming from the residence ahead replaced it completely. "He must be excited to welcome his bride." Commander Jeon commented with thorns in his voice. Namjoon felt his heart tugging, he could almost relate. It was true, Lord Jung indeed was thrilled to have his bride finally arrived. He had the whole place decked out in lanterns and flowers. The house was filled with servants, preparing food and making last minute preparations for the wedding that will take place soon after Lady Park's arrival. The man stood outside the gate, eagerly waiting for her.

Commander Jeon swallowed any reservation against the man and stepped forward, bowing to show his respect. "Hello my Lord, I am sorry to have kept you waiting long."

The man smiled, it was brighter than the stars. "Nonsense, I'm glad you all made it here safely." The party settled down accordingly to where Lord Jung wanted. When he saw Lady Park, he was delighted and held a short conversation with her. Commander Jeon felt uneasy, but relaxed when he saw that she felt comfortable with the lord, that's all he could ever ask for. One of his servants lead Lady Park and you to her designated quarter for tonight to rest a little and prepare for the dinner tonight. Of course, Namjoon had to follow. He would have followed either way, because he was determined to say something to you.

When you got to the room, the maid closed the door in front of Namjoon out of custom. He lingered by it still, his hand hanging above it. It reminded him of back home, where he would get nervous every time he delivers the letter he wrote himself but lied and say it's from Seokjin instead. His heart was pounding just the same, and it reiterated the fact that he was still in love with you. On the other side of the door, you stood facing it, also determined to say something to him. Lady Park chuckled to herself, knowing she would have to get ready by herself but she didn't mind.

You exhaled, already going over the monologue in your head, that you didn't want him to leave your side, ever. And even if it was a selfish choice, you still wanted to tell him. You pulled the door back, the cool night air hitting your fact along with the glittering dust from the moon. But Namjoon's presence was no longer there, and your body felt dangerously light.