Save Me (Kim Namjoon X Readers)

Chapter 18

Namjoon's body had never felt more relaxed and comfortable in his entire life. The silk blanket provided by the Empress felt like a field of wildflowers singing him to sleep. Yet he kept on tossing and turning. He liked to turn to one side in specific, the one where he has a view of something brighter than the lanterns. He couldn't help but chuckle lowly thinking about how you both had to explained to Commander Jeon that you needed to stay close together. It would have been much easier to lie and tell him you two just wanted to be together.

He didn't want to look for too long, or else his heart would not quiet down and quite possibly burst. He couldn't help it. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he would get to share a room with the person he wants most in the world, even if it's not under the best circumstances. He studied the way your hair falls effortlessly on the pillow. It was the first time he didn't see the red bow. If he had the chance, he would buy you a new one. He shook his head, he didn't deserve to think such thoughts. Nothing about his social status has changed, he was still only a peasant and he would never be anything to you.

Hesitantly, he turned away and closed his eyes. Instantly, as if hypnotized, he was pulled into a dream. At first he didn't think it was a dream, because he felt his heavy body and the tingles in his fingers. He was transported to a garden. Unlike the one at the Song's house, this one had a pond with scattering lotuses and koi. The water remained calm as he walked by it. He wondered if he could pick a flower and give it to you. Nonsense, he thought, there was no way he could take something that doesn't exist.

"If you want it, I will give it to you." said a sweet voice behind him. He turned, and was blinded by the radiance of the black hanbok with golden cranes imprinted on it. The woman's lips were inked crimson sun while her skin was pure snow. Seeing her, Namjoon felt small yet connected.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"You are looking for me, Namjoon. Do you not recognize your own mother?" she asked.

"How would I recognize a woman I never knew existed?"

"You are angry with me, I can feel it. But please, my son, believe me that I have missed you dearly and I want you here with me." Madam Li stated. "Your aunt is here too and she will lift the curse when you arrive."

"How do I know that is the truth? She didn't go easy on me because I am your son." he scoffed.

"My dear, she just needed a little bit of persuasion. So come join me." The woman glided closer to him and touched his face. There was an impossible warmth and roughness in her touch, but it didn't feel foreign. He was truly starting the believe that she was his mother. He didn't even question how she had appeared in his dream, or maybe she sent him to her dream.

"Why did you never look for me?" he whispered. Although he could see past the woman's head, he was too scared to look into her eyes.

"Not a day went by that I didn't think of you." she hummed. Namjoon's shoulders relaxed as he felt the tears falling involuntarily out of his eyes. Why he believed her words didn't matter at the moment, he was happy that someone wanted him in their life. She lifted her hand at something behind him, and a lotus floated from the pond. She placed it in his hands. "I am looking forward to seeing you, and the girl." she grinned.

Namjoon opened his mouth to say something. But the woman vanished and so did the garden. He sprung up from the blankets, and almost screamed when he saw the lotus in his palm. He placed the flower down slowly and fearfully in front of him, and pulled his knees to his chest. Although he felt at ease in the presence of his mother, the way she spoke of you gave him chills. It wasn't out of curiosity, but with intent, bad intentions. He shook his head, no, he was just being too cautious. His mother would never hurt the person he loves.

He kept staring at the flower until ray of lights came through the door. He hadn't realized how long the dream had actually been. The other figure in the room stirred. It wasn't odd to you to see Namjoon awake first, but it was odd that there was a lotus in the room. You hadn't seen any ponds nearby and certainly Namjoon wouldn't just have the urge to go pick one.

"My mother gave it to me." he said without being asked. You sat up quickly, feeling a wave of dizziness.

"Your mother? She was here? Are you okay?" you asked with urgency.

He nodded, "I'm fine, I think. I saw her in my dream, well, I don't even know if I should call it that or not because I was actually there with her."

"But how?" you asked, then immediately feeling dumb since his aunt was the River Witch. "Nevermind, what did she say?"

"That she wants me to come join her, in Silver Stone."

"As in stay with her? There, forever?" you voice dropped without you intending to do it. Namjoon had every right to stay with her, since she is his family. But you still couldn't picture not seeing him every day, or ever again. "You can't do that." He noticed the change in your voice.

"That would be a logical thing to do," he pointed out. "At least someone wants me around."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter."

"It does. I know she's your mother but she is doing terrible things to people with her drugs. You cannot stay with her."

Even though he knew what you're saying is true, he didn't want to give in. He just wanted a home, a place where he truly belonged. "You have no right to tell me what I can't or can't do. No one in the world will ever hurt me the way you did."

The knot grew in your throat, one that you thought had completely faded. "Why do you keep bringing it up? I thought we've moved passed that."

He should have said sorry, but he didn't. In his mind, he was hoping you would hate him, so that the farewell would be easier. "I can never forget it. You broke my heart and I want to forget you."