Appetite For Destruction

-020

The sun shone brightly through the window above us in our bedroom and my head pounded as I winced opening my eyes. Happy was awake next to me, arms behind his head staring at the roof deep in thought. I tried to remember anything from the night before but it was cloudy. After the bottle of wine when I woke up yesterday morning it just continued, I'm surprised I even made it to the clubhouse party.

Squinting my eyes shut as I rolled over onto Happy's bare chest I wrapped my arm around him and enjoyed the warmth coming from him, he pulled an arm out from under his hand and put it around me "did I embarrass myself last night?" I mumbled and he chuckled.

"You tried to bottle poor Juice babe"

I groaned "fuck, my bad"

I felt him sigh deeply before he spoke again "Evie, I've got some things to do today...and then I'll be going away a bit sooner than we thought"

Instantly my stomach tightened and my eyes stung, I knew he was going but I hadn't realised just how soon I'd have to be by myself and this news shook me to the core. The last two days had felt like a whirlwind, a scene out of a movie rather than my real life and having to process it all by myself seemed way to overwhelming.

"I have given Ope an envelope filled with enough money to pay the rent for six months, and if you need anymore I can organise it. If you need anything while I'm gone you're to go to Chibs, he'll help you"

I put my hand up onto his cheek "Hap, I know the drill. You didn't need to pay the rent, I can cover it" his dark eyes looked down at me with a sadness I'd never seen from him, he lent in and pressed his lips into mine in a kiss different to any other I'd received from him. This wasn't lustful, it was just full of emotion that he couldn't express in words.

When he pulled back I felt my eyes filling with tears as I looked up at him "I love you Evie, I need you to wait for me" his voice was low and deeper than usual.

I nodded "always"

—-

I'd gotten up not long ago and headed towards the clubhouse as Happy showered and organised himself at home. I sat at the bar with a coffee feeling sorry for myself. My heart was heavier than I think I'd even felt in my adult life, the only comparable feeling was when my father had died. It seemed typical that in this life any type of normality or happiness doesn't last too long before reality hits.

The clubhouse was still mostly silent, the guys going away were either with their loved ones or preparing for whatever their plans were for the day. I hadn't asked Happy too many questions, I knew Stahl had been harassing people closest to the guys and the less I knew for now the better.

I turned to Piney who sat a couple of stools down from me smoking a cigarette and casually reading the newspaper "do you think it's too early to spike my own coffee?"

He snorted "don't see why not sweetheart, though after last night I thought you might wanna take it easy"

I felt my face heat up "long week caught up with me, you know how it goes" I shrugged pushing up to grab a bottle of vodka, adding a splash into my drink quickly and taking a drink of it enjoying the burning feeling.

"It's going to be okay Evie" his blue eyes looked dead into mine and just like a child I felt a feeling of comfort hearing the words as I internally battled with my emotions. I had never felt like crying more in my life, this was not who I am, I hated feeling so weak.

Before we could speak anymore my mother rounded the corner her eyes red around the edges, I must admit that pulled at my heart. My mother was always the strong one, she knew the life and she very rarely let herself get upset. She looked at me and the bottle next to my coffee as she shook her head "No I don't think so Evelyn Teller! You're not writing yourself off, not today!"

I rolled my eyes and quickly skulled the last of my coffee before she could snatch it away from me "relax mom, just a little to take the edge of the nerves...where do you need me?"

She sighed as she straightened herself up, ready to do what she does best and boss people around "tidy up in here, and then go and do the invoices you missed yesterday...if anything else needs doing I'll call you. Try to keep busy baby, and no alcohol!" She embraced me in a hug before disappearing outside and I sighed. Time to get busy.