Appetite For Destruction

-038

I'd taken Happy's advice and come into work the next day. I tried my best to not focus on the growing number of members absent as I made my way into the office with all my snacks for the day, I was paranoid after last nights scare so I was making sure to eat enough. My mood immediately soured though when I walked into the office and it was stacked up high and it was evident no one had been in here in a while.

I groaned under my breath as I put my stuff down and sat at the desk "this place is going to shit" I muttered as I rubbed my eyes vigorously.

"You know talking to yourself is the first sign of madness?" Jax's voice sounded at the office door and I jumped.

I glared at him "every single time"

He chuckled moving to sit on the couch opposite me "it's not my fault you're a pussy. How you feeling after last night?"

"I'm okay, and the baby is okay and that's all that matters" I smiled at my big brother before turning to the pile of unsorted job sheets on the desk "but where the fuck has our mother been? This is out of control"

"She's been a bit off" he shrugged.

"A bit? I've barely seen her and when I do she's fucked off her head" I snapped back.

"We've just gotta let her work through it. All this shit with Clay, all the shit with Tara and life in general is just a bit much for her I guess"

I rolled my eyes but said nothing else on the matter. Jax had always been our mothers favourite after Thomas died and he always had an excuse for her behaviour, me though, I loved my mother but she was an overbearing control freak when it came to her life and the club and I've never shied away from making that known to her. I knew I was less important then her prodigy Jackson.

He didn't hover and left to go do whatever he needed to do, and I started on the invoices making sure to be eating as I did so. I wondered whether or not I should reach out to Lyla and the kids. Maybe I should bake her something? Then again I'm a shitty cook...I'd just visit.

"Evie?" I looked up at Phil standing in the doorway.

"Hmm?" I replied as I looked back down at the calculator in front of me.

"Tara just rang, she said to tell you she's dropping the boys off for Gemma to pick up tonight"

I sighed "yeah okay, thank you man"

"Did you need me to get you anything? Food?"

I rolled my eyes as I looked at him "Happy asked you to make sure I eat"

He looked sheepish but nodded "sorry but he scares the shit out of me"

I let out a loud laugh "It's fine, I can get my own food and if Happy asks tell him I said I'm a grown up"

He nodded and left the room.

—

I sat at the picnic tables with Thomas and Abel whilst Abel was colouring in next to me. One of the new girls Ally sat across from us talking and laughing with him, she'd only started appearing lately and I'm almost certain she had something going on with Juice but I didn't ask questions. She was taller than me with platinum blonde hair and some of the prettiest blue eyes I'd ever seen.

I didn't have a lot of girl friends, I am not good with other females. I got used a lot in high school cause I was a wild child and Jax was, well Jax. But Ally seemed nice enough and she didn't ask me too many questions or try too hard to be my friend and I appreciate that.

"How old are you Ally?" I asked trying to make conversation as we waited for Gemma.

"Twenty five" she smiled up at me before continuing to colour with Abel.

"You from around here?" I shifted Thomas on my lap to move one of the crayons out of his mouth before I looked up at her.

"Nah, New York. I grew up with Juice"

I nodded "hey, can you take Thomas for me? I need a drink"

She held her arms out and I lent across the table to pass the blonde baby too her, before I headed inside feeling exhausted. Baby Lowman was still sucking me completely dry of energy and after a long day in the office I was ready for bed. Inside the clubhouse was mostly empty but I paused when I rounded the corner and Clay was sitting at the bar, still using his oxygen tank from when Opie shot him and looking sorry for himself.

I considered turning around and heading back outside, I wasn't interested in anything my former stepfather had to say, as far as I was concerned he was dead. I had to admit though to begin with I was hurt beyond belief that someone I had trusted had ended up being such an evil person, even in this world of chaos most of the guys still had a conscious.

I chose to move forward avoiding making any moves that acknowledged his existence as I searched for a soda. Keeping my back to him as I moved but he broke the silence "you know I loved you and your brother Eve"

I rolled my eyes "until we got in your way then would we end up like Piney or my father?"

He looked away from me with sad eyes but I still felt not one ounce of sorrow for this man, if anything I felt disgust. He cleared his throat "I've made a lot of shitty choices. But I was doing what I thought was best for th-"

"Don't you dare say the club" I interrupted "just don't say anything. I don't care and the sooner Jax puts you out of your misery the better" I sneered grabbing my drink from the bar fridge and storming back outside to see my mother had pulled up. Ally and Phil were helping her put the boys in her car but she looked out of it and I had a feeling if Tara was here she would of stopped her taking Thomas and Abel.

"Are you okay mom?"

She looked at me through glassy eyes "I'm okay sweetheart, just a little tired"

"Should you be driving?" I started to feel concerned for the boys but knew if I pushed too hard it'd cause a fight.

"I'm fine" she snapped "I think you forget I've been around a lot longer than you Evelyn Teller"

I sighed heavily waving a small wave at Abel in the back before I turned back to her "be safe cause if you fuck this up you'll loose your chance"