Appetite For Destruction

-021

The day was dragging. I couldn't focus my mind on any of the paperwork I was meant to be doing, the lot was mostly dead anyway and I didn't see the point of being stuck in this office if I was the only one actually here. But my mothers words about keeping busy ran through my head over and over and I knew she was right.

I stood and went to stand at the door, leaning against the frame as I lit a cigarette and stared out at the full line of bikes in the lot. My heart aches again at the thought of it being mostly empty and quiet like this for the next year and a half. I felt almost guilty I'd been gone so long before, now I was home I couldn't imagine ever leaving again.

Before long the clubhouse door swung open and they all piled out. I watched as Happy headed towards me, his face showed no emotion until he was close before he gave me a sad smile "hey baby, I'm about to head out. You're to stay here today, do you hear me Evie? I need to know you're safe or I'm gonna go insane"

I chuckled as I stepped closer "yes sir"

He growled and put his hands on my waist pulling me flush against his front "don't, I'm already gagging for you and I haven't even left yet" he lent in and pulled me tight against him, the smell of his cologne started driving my head wild but I restrained from doing anything to stir him up.

Kissing his neck softly I lent back "will I see you before you get taken in?"

"Briefly. I think anyway. I love you. Stay fuckin' put today. Don't test me little girl" he kissed me once more before releasing me from his grip and stepping back. My hands already ached to feel his skin under them again but I channeled my inner Gemma and smiled at him.

"I love you too, be safe my darling"

And with that Happy Lowman got in the van and disappeared from the lot.

—-

I could feel myself pacing as I stood with Tara and my mom. My whole body vibrated with anxiousness, something felt off deep down inside of me. Tara looked uneasy and my mom, well she looked like a mess and that in itself had my stomach doing flips. The roar of bikes could be heard in the distance and I held my breath as they all pulled in, minus Jax. My eyes instantly found Happy and I rushed towards him.

"I'm fine" he mumbled into my ear as he wrapped me up in his arms and I felt myself relax if only for a second.

I looked around double checking everyone else was okay and they all gave me reassuring smiles, though tight and stressed as they kept checking for the arrival of Jax. Hearing the sound of his Harley in the distance Happy pulled me tighter against him, turning my face to kiss me once more "be safe" was all he muttered before Jax pulled in, followed in by the ATF.

My jaw dropped as I looked up at Happy whose face had darkened as he looked at my brother, I felt the whole group of men as a whole stiffen up and like a rug had just been pulled from under my feet. He had ratted.

"What the hell is going on?" Clay asks Jax and I watched Jax shrug and say he isn't sure.

Agent Stahl demands to know where Jimmy O is and Clay eventually relents telling Juice and Tig to go get him. As he's pulled out of the trunk he's carrying on about the luck of the Irish and the American justice system. "How did you know he was here?" Clay demands.

Stahl looks from Clay to Jax, and I watch as Jax begins to panic. Everything inside of me is screaming at this point I tried to step forward but Happy put his arm in the way and I felt a small sob leave my throat. Jax tries to reason with the club stating he had no choice.

Watching the scene unfold in front of me was like watching a movie in slow motion. Jax was restrained as he tried to attack Stahl, and I felt a rage wash over me as I tried to run towards him but an officer grabbed me before I got close "don't fuckin' touch her" Happy snarled from behind me but I continued to try and wriggle free.

"I can't believe you ratted!" Bobby yelled shoving Jax as he continues to swear it was for the good of the club.

My mom stood in front of Jax trying to plead with Clay "he was pushed into it!"

But Clays eyes never left Jax as he bellowed "consider yourself a dead man"

My heart shattered I could not believe what the hell I was watching happen. Tara stood off to the side her face frozen in disbelief of everything happening and mom was sobbing as they started handcuffing Juice, Bobby, Tig and Happy along with Jax and Clay I felt like I could be sick. No ones eyes left Jax as they all glared giving him death stares and I fell to the ground "no, Jax!" I felt myself whimper he gave me one last sad look before the door of the van shut on all six of them and I felt deflated.

—-

I laid on the day bed in my mother's backyard. My heart felt heavy and I felt sick to my stomach with worry about Jax. The bottle of wine in my hand was barely having any effect at taking the edge off of my nerves and I nearly jumped out of my skin when the side gate opened and Phil walked in. He was a big boy and I hadn't really had much to do with him but he seemed kind.

"Hey Phil" I smiled at him and he gave me a sympathetic look "what's that?" I asked noticing the three letters in his hands.

"It's from Jax for you...well one of them is for you" he handed me an envelope and I felt puzzled.

"What is this?"

He shrugged "I honestly don't know mam, is your mom around?" I pointed inside and he nodded but stopped before he turned to walk inside "oh and you have to burn that once you've read it"

I nodded and said thanks as he walked inside. Sitting up I placed my bottle on the floor and tore the letter open immediately.

'Evie,
If you're reading this Stahl and Jimmy O are dead. I promise you we will only be doing short time and I'll have Happy back home to you before you know it. I'm sorry it had to happen like this but any of you knowing about it would've made you all accessories. I would never turn on my club and I'd never turn on my family.
I love you so much Eve, take care of mom, Tara, Abel and the new baby. I'll be home soon.
Jax.'

I let out the breath I'd been holding before I started laughing. All of the stress left my body and I felt myself feel a deep feeling of relief. I should've guessed when everyone had been so elusive with me but I felt a large amount of gratitude towards my brother for always putting everyone else first.

Taking another drink from the bottle I felt my mood shift, now just to get through the next year and everything could go back to some sense of normal.