Appetite For Destruction

-043

"Please tell me the gun that that kid used to blow all those other kids brains out didn't come from SAMCRO" I asked Happy the next evening on the couch as we ate and watched the news.

He side eyed me but instead of answering stuffed another mouthful of his chow mein into his mouth.

"Happy!"

He shrugged "they can't prove it came from us if it makes you feel better"

I rolled my eyes "It doesn't"

He changed the subject "Have you seen your mom?"

"Nope and I don't want too" my hand caressed my stomach as our boy kicked against my hand "I'm so over the dramatic shit show that is her life"

"It's our life too babe, you should talk to her" he tried to reason causing me to squint at him.

"Who's side are you on?" I hissed.

He chuckled "yours, always yours. But I'll tell you something for nothing, I won't miss these fuckin hormones"

I scoffed under my breath "shut up"

He stood and took my plate from my lap, taking the dishes into the kitchen to wash up. I shuffled forward and pulled myself up off the couch, wincing at the pain in my lower stomach muscles as my ever changing body was pushing my abs to the absolute limit. I headed towards the kitchen, leaning against the door frame as I watched my big bad biker wash our dishes I felt my heart swell.

"I'll go talk too Gemma tomorrow"

He turned as he dried his hands on the dish towel and moved towards me his hands resting either side of my stomach, his forehead leaning against mine "I just think she needs you right now"

"Okay but I need you to do something for me in the meantime" I whispered and leant in closer so our lips were almost touching "ice cream, chocolate sauce and sprinkles" I leant in closing the gap placing a quick kiss before I pulled back and turned towards the bedroom.

"Yes boss" he laughed.

-

I stepped out of my car into the heat of the day at the Teller-Morrow lot feeling a lot like a bloated whale with a beach ball stuffed in my shirt as I moved towards the office. I was intercepted by Phil who smiled at me warmly "hey Evie, do you need anything?"

"A cold drink would be nice dude, thank you" I smiled at him and he nodded and headed off to retrieve one. I waved across the lot to Wayne who was sat out the front of his trailer.

Inside the office my mother sat smoking a cigarette and squinting at a piece of paper in front of her, she looked up at me with a look that clearly said I'd hit a nerve the other day and I was still in the dog house "well, would you look at that my daughter has appeared"

"Oh come off it, I'm sorry for being so upfront yesterday. But I mean it, you're so worried about what Tara is doing you're neglecting your actual daughter" I sat down across from her rubbing my tummy as I looked at her.

She was silent for a minute before she spoke "did you really get married?"

I put my hand up and wiggled my ring finger at her, Happy had purchased a pretty simple diamond ring, it was nothing fancy but it suited me just fine. I was actually impressed he'd picked it out himself, with Lyla's help.

"Jesus Christ, you didn't think I'd wanna be there?" She hissed.

"No one was there that's what was nice about it. I'm officially Evelyn Teller-Lowman" I shrugged.

"Teller-Lowman? Jesus you are your mothers daughter" she chuckled.

"I didn't wanna give up the Teller name as homage to my dad. Now what's going on with you?"

"Tara organised Wendy to have custody of the boys if something happens to Jax"

I rolled my eyes "I meant with you but what the fuck? Wendy? Doesn't she hate Wendy?"

"I dunno. I'm going to figure it out"

"Mom! Stop! This is exactly why Tara keeps pushing back against you, you're too involved. Speaking of, I'm due in like twelve weeks, did you wanna be in the room with us?" I tried desperately to change the subject not wanting to discuss any more of the drama as I could feel my blood pressure and stress rising at the thought of any of it.

My mother stood and stepped towards me with a grin on her face "of course I will baby, anything you need mama will be there" she put a hand on my stomach "got any names in mind for him?"

"I like Harlem, Happy hasn't given any suggestions as of yet. I'm thinking Jackson for the middle name, maybe two middle names one for both of my brothers...I'm not sure yet, it's very daunting" I sighed putting my hand over hers "I love you mom, and I need you in this next chapter of my life"

Her eyes soften as she looked at me "you know, I never wanted a girl. After Jax when I fell pregnant with you I was so upset, I wanted another boy. But you came out my twin, and that scared me more than anything" she rubbed my belly as she spoke "as you grew, you mirrored me with the best traits of your father, you were kind, strong willed but also bossy just like me"

I felt hot tears prickling at my eyes as she was being so raw and real, something I hadn't heard from her in a long time, if ever.

"Then I had Thomas, and you took him under your wing. It was always you and him, he got sick, your dad bailed he couldn't handle it. You slowly lost that spark as Thomas lost his, that's when you and Jackson got closer, he had the heart of your father and I guess in many ways he was your father figure" she was self reflecting now as she rubbed the tears off her cheeks "you became an angry teenager, Jax was easier. You pushed back hard any time I tried to push you in the right direction, you'd go extra wild"

"Yeah I was fun" I sniffled through a laugh

"Then stuff with the mayans got bad, you got angry. I guess you worried for your brothers.  Then you screamed at me one day and left, and I realised just how much I needed my girl. I always loved you Evie, even if you think I didn't or I favoured your brother over you. You were just scary, and like looking in a mirror"

"I love you momma" I whispered as I lent forward and wrapped my arms around her "you're a good mom and a great grandma, just let Jax and Tara figure their shit out"

She nodded and Phil appeared in the door way "am I interrupting something?"

I let out a laugh "no, come in"

He handed me the can of soda "I have to go help Rat with something, Happy said he was going to be out of service today and I was in charge of you. If you need anything call and I'll be there"

"You're a good guy Phil, I hope you know that"

"Thanks Evie"