Appetite For Destruction

-036

"It's not getting better is it?" I whispered into the darkness as I laid between Happy's legs with my head on his chest in our bed.

"What's not?" He mumbled, I could tell he wanted desperately to sleep but my mind wouldn't let me.

"Anything. My father figure died, the other one is a cunt, for lack of a better word. My brother and my adopted brother are both in jail. My mothers off the goddamn deep end and I'm fourteen weeks pregnant Happy. What's it gonna be like in another five months?"

He sighed deeply "do we have to do this right now babe?"

"We never get a chance to do it any other time" I growled "you're either busy or you're asleep whenever you're here"

"I'm working my ass off to support you and this kid Evie. What the fuck else do you want from me?"

"Are you joking? I wanted to talk about my feelings but obviously that's too hard for you, the big bad biker. I'm going to sleep on the couch" I knew I was probably overreacting but the hormones swimming around my body had me more explosive than usual.

"Stop" Happy muttered grabbing my wrists as I tried to get up, pulling me too his side as he rolled over to lay behind him "tomorrow night we are going to go out and spend time together. No club stuff and we can talk about all your feelings baby, but right now I really need to sleep"

I sighed loudly "fine. But I want to go somewhere nice Happy Lowman, don't be cheap"

His deep chuckle vibrates against my back "go to sleep"

—

I arrived at the clubhouse the following night to meet Happy at 6pm like we'd planned. I'd gone out of my way to dress extra sexy considering my tight clothes we not going to fit too much longer. I stepped out of my car rearranging the tight red boob tube and pulling my jeans up before I walked inside. My heels clicked on the asphalt quietly and I was really feeling myself for the first time in a while.

I noticed a pile of extra people around and wondered what was going on. Stepping inside the clubhouse the mood was somber and I looked around spotting Tig and Chibs which meant they were already out. I looked around for Happy and found him already walking towards me "Evie. Somethings come up"

I groaned but before I could finish I noticed the sad look in his eyes "I think you should go up to the roof and talk to your brother babe. It'd be best coming from him"

I felt confusion take over me as I looked up at him "what do you mean?"

He lent down to lay a soft kiss on my lips "just go. I'll be here waiting for you"

I nodded and headed towards the stairs the the roof. I kicked off my heels at the bottom and climbed up to the top, finding Jax sitting with his head resting on his arms "Jax?" I lent out as I sat next to him laying a hand on his shoulder.

He sniffled, looking up at me with teary eyes "have you heard?"

"No no one will tell me what's going on, they said to talk to you?"

I looked down at what he was holding in his hands and realised it was a picture of himself and Opie when they were young on their bikes and my heart skipped a beat "no" was all I could get out as my hand went over my mouth.

Jax nodded as he lent into me and I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders as he let out a sob. My eyes started to water as my heart ached for Jax and the thought of Opie being gone. We sat like that for a few moments and I was reminded of the first few days after our father had died. Strange how time doesn't change the bond of siblings, we've both done and seen horrible things, found love, been out and been adults but still here we were.

"Why?" I whispered as we both stared out over the Teller-Morrow lot.

"It doesn't matter the details Evie. It shouldn't of happened" he mumbled "he'd been looking for a way out since Donna though"

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for that"

Jax reached out and took my hand in his "you're here now and that's all that matters"

I sighed deeply as we sat in silence for a moment before Bobby called for Jax from downstairs and he stood "come on, let's get this over with"

I followed him down and we hugged once more. I followed him and Bobby out to the main area where everyone was waiting, Happy immediately at my side wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me into him as he kissed the top of my head and I felt the tears building again.

I stood back with Happy and watched Jax next to Opies casket. My heart was heavy, I didn't know how someone could deserve so much death in their lives. I wondered if in 20 years our child would be dealing with the same death and destruction but I didn't ponder on it for long before Jax turned and gestured me forward.

Looking down at Opie's face I wondered if he was with Donna now, and had found his peace. I reached out to touch his face, his pale skin cold under my touch "I love you so much Ope, but I won't let it get to soppy on you" I whispered letting a small chuckle out through my tears as I moved my hand away and turned around to walk towards my mother burying my face into her chest.

I watched the club all filter in and stand around the coffin as I stood between Lyla and Gemma. I reached down grabbing Lyla's hand squeezing it gently. We watched Jax say his final goodbyes before the lid was put on top of the coffin and the boys carried it out to the hearse.

And just like that my brother closed the door on our childhood best friends coffin and once again I was left mourning for someone I loved.