Everything hurt. And yet, at the same time, everything felt numb. A numb pain. And it was everywhere.
You wanted to scream out, reach your arms out, to find someone that could tell you what was happening. But you couldn't move and you couldn't open your eyes; it was like you were trapped inside your own body. Your sense of hearing was heightened and you could hear someone next to you, sobbing, it didn't sound like lily. It sounded like Sarah. The roles had been reversed, and it was all your fault.
You weren't sure how long you had been like this, it didn't feel very long. But if sarah was next to you, then it must've been long enough. It was as if the world wanted to keep you and sarah away from one another. First you couldn't see her because she was hurt, and now you can't see her because you're hurt. You wanted nothing more than to open your eyes and pull her into your embrace, something you had yearned for- for so very long.
"Please open those eyes y/n. I know you're hurting and I know that's my fault but I need you. I'll do anything to prove my love for you, to get you to forgive me... please"
You had forgiven her months ago, as soon as you recieved the phone call to tell you about that horrible night, you had forgiven her straight away. You tried so hard to squeeze Sarah's hand, but nothing happened, you were paralysed.
"P-please!"
Your arm was wet now, from her tears running onto you, her grasp on your hand growing tighter over time.
Your mind flooded with old memories of the two of you. When you first met, the late nights in your trailer when everyone else had left the set. The nights spent at the pub, the perfect ending to most days. The cafe where you both spent birthdays, anniversaries, valentines days. The times spent, just the two of you, in which you fell deeper and deeper for her. All the good memories. It was like a spark, and it fueled your fire of want for Sarah's skin on yours. Your hand squeezed sarahs, only lightly, but enough to let her know that you were there.
"That's it babygirl, stay strong... wake up for me"
It took everything in you. Every fibre in your soul ached as you willed yourself to open your eyes. You braced yourself for the bright light, and it came soon enough. You let out a breath of air you didn't realise you were holding in.
"Y/n!?"
You groaned so loud, forgetting how sensitive your ears were. The numbing pain had gone and was quickly replaced by searing pain all over your wrists and arms. You looked down at them, covered in bandages and wires.
"Baby- are you in pain?"
Tears spurted from your eyes. Not from pain. But from the sound of her voice, like velvet. And the sight of her eyes, finally looking back into your own. You had waited so long to see her, and there she was, asking you if you were okay.
"I'll get the doctor"
"No!" Your hand grasped her pajama top tightly, which you instantly regretted.
"Hey, I'm not going anywhere, they'll bring you something for the pain"
Doctors filled the room, checking you over, filling you with drugs. The pain soon disappeared and you were finally left alone again with Sarah.
"Are you ok?" You asked straight away.
"Of course I am, I have you, right? I love you and I'm sorry for before I-"
"Shh... it's okay... how long was I out?"
Sarah went silent, as if filled with pain, and her hand fell into yours.
"5 days. You lost a lot of blood... why?"
"Why what?" You knew what she meant, you just didn't want to answer.
"Why did you do it?"
"I didn't think you were gonna come back to me, I was so scared sarah. Scared about having to live the rest of my life without you, without hearing you voice, your laugh. Without having your hand in mine. I just couldn't do it anymore... I'm sorry"
"Don't apologise, please just never again. I couldn't lose you either, you're my world y/n. I'd have nothing if I didn't have you"
"I love you"
"I love you too"
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Liked by; @sarahcatharinepaulson, @pillypie, @jessica_lange and 690,001 others
@official_y/n: I've missed you❤ ---
@sarahcatharinepaulson: Missed you more💕 -
@user1: Omg... I'm in tears rn -
@emmaroberts: Hope you're both feeling better soon!❤❤❤ -
