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@sarahcatharinepaulson: I'm much more me when I'm with you
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"Are you ready love?" You and Sarah had been sat in your car for 20 minutes, just sat in silence, watching people come in and out of the hospital. Sarah's hand stroking yours slowly, just letting you know that she was there; right next to you. You couldn't remember whether you had spoken a word sice you sat down in the car back home, but you probably didn't. Too much going on in your brain for any kind of conversation. Sarah had kept an eye on you though. Every now and then you felt her eyes on you, watching you concentrate on the road.
"Yeah... I guess." Your voice was shaky and your hands shook at the mere thought of facing your mother. You weren't scared of her and you knew how she didn't support you, but you were scared for Sarah. If your mother said the wrong thing or did something that hurt Sarah, you'd never forgive yourself. You couldn't bear it if Sarah left you because of your homophobic mother, you couldn't let that woman ruin the most perfect thing that has ever happened to you.
"Hey... you know you don't have to be strong for me right? You can talk to me" You turned to face Sarah, her eyes were full of worry.
"I can't lose you Sarah... the things my mother might say, they won't be nice... so if you think there's a possibility that you can't handle it or that it might upset you enough to leave me... then please tell me, because we won't go in there, we'll go home... because I can't lose you Sar" You wouldn't let the tears fall, not for your mother, you had to be strong, she wouldn't tear you down again.
"I'm here for the long run love, no matter what, okay? No matter what your mother will say, no matter what anyone says." Sarah's hand graced your cheek, her lips turning into a smile just for you. "We know what we have is special, not many people get what we have, and I'd be damn stupid to let this go. I love you silly, and I'm not leaving you anytime soon... now... lets go." Sarah squeezed your hands and turned to get out of the car; gesturing for you to do the same. Time to go...
You walked hand in hand towards your mothers room, the nurses had directed you, offering you a sad smile. You hated pity. Should you be more sad? You asked yourself... you didn't really feel anything. Only apprehensive of what was going to happen in those 4 walls; hoping and praying that your mother wouldn't freak too much to see you and Sarah.
"I'm right here love, always." You came to a stop when you reached her door, thankful that there were no windows on it, the last protection from the vicious tongue of the woman who gave you life. You turned to face Sarah and kissed her gently, the touch of her lips grounding you as they always did.
"I know Sar, lets go."
Your hand reached out and grabbed the handle, letting go of Sarah's hand as you pushed it open. She was laying on the bed, fragile and old, she had never looked like that before. Your mother had always taken great pride in her appearance, she had taken pride in everything. Her ego far too large, you blamed that and her ignorance for why she turned her back on you.
"Y/n? What are you doing here?" Her voice was full of spite, she obviously hadn't changed much.
"You're dying y/m/n, and you're still my mother" You hadn't moved from the doorway and Sarah was yet to be seen by your mother, your body guard her from your mother's line of vision.
"Well, if you're here, I'm guessing you've seen the light and realised your sins" Another great feature of your mother, deeply 'religious', however you were sure she used it merely as an excuse to be a hateful witch.
"I've just come to say goodbye, I know you don't understand me or the world that you currently live in, but I had hoped that maybe, just once you could realise that I am your daughter. You're dying for god's sake." You finally moved closer to the woman in the bed, you were slowly losing your temper. But this would probably be the last time that you see her, and you did love her, although you were sure that you probably shouldn't.
"Is that your girlfriend then?" You followed her eye line, and it landed on Sarah. The pair watching each other, trying to figure one another out. Sarah looked stoic, and if you didn't know her so well you wouldn't see the worried glint in her eyes, that you knew was for you; not for herself. Her eyes fell to you, waiting for you to tell your mother who she was, waiting for the woman's reaction.
You went to tell her that that was who she was, the woman of your dreams, the person you had been waiting for your whole life. But your voice hesitated, and it took a while for your brain to catch up. A few seconds for you to figure out what you were going to say.
