Realize (COMPLETED)

7.

Jennie

I have to get the fuck out of here!

This bitch, Lisa or whatever the hell she calls herself, is fucking nuts. She belongs in a mental institution if she thinks she's going to keep me locked in her house as a prisoner for her freaky, sexual needs. I don't have a problem fucking her if it means she'll let me go, there's no doubt in my mind that she's a good lay. Those broad shoulders and that cute butt don't go unnoticed; in fact it just makes me want to fuck her even more.

This would happen to me. It's like I have a neon sign glowing across my forehead "Kidnap me. Rape me. Beat me up." I'm a fucking danger magnet.

It's karma.

All the bad shit I've ever done in my life is coming back on me. Lisa is Satan and being in this room is my own personal hell. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that this is the way my life would end. Tied to a bed and alone. It makes me think about all the crazy shit I've gone though, and it makes me wonder how the hell I'm not dead by now. It literally feels like every person who has hurt me sucked out a piece of my soul and now, I'm just a worthless shell.

It all started with Nara...The worthless bitch that gave birth to me, not because she wanted to. If she had it her way I would have been aborted, but as her punishment for being a slut, Gran made her have me. She resented me every day of my life and when Gran died I should have too...Then I wouldn't have had to go live with her. I wouldn't have had to be tortured by a man and his son for fun while my fucking dead beat ass mother was in the other room getting high, or watching them rape me. I often wished that something bad would happen to her, something that would hurt her so deep she might understand my pain. Four years later I got my wish in the form of the police telling me that the reason why I hadn't seen Nara or her pedophile husband Janghoon in a few days was because they were dead. Killed in a car crash on their way to buy drugs. They let me pack a bag and then took me to a group home. I was a ward of the state of California, and I had nowhere to go. I plotted my escape for about a week and it was fairly easy to slip out without anyone noticing. The only thing on my mind was to run, so I did.

San Francisco was huge and intimidating for a thirteen year old girl who was never allowed out of the house, except to go to school. At that time, I had only lived there for about three years. It wasn't Phoenix so I hated it. Phoenix was home, that's where Gran was. I wanted to go home, to her house, to sleep in my old bed and take a bath in her big whirlpool tub...I knew that wasn't possible and the house probably belonged to someone else by then. I dreamed about it every single night though.

After being on the street for two weeks my life looked hopeless. I tried stealing a bag of chips from a store when I bumped into a man that would change everything. His name was Alec. Tall, beautiful dark skin and piercing hazel eyes, he was the smoothest mother fucker I'd ever met, I'll give him that. I remember thinking he was so handsome. He was strong, a protector. He took me in with no questions asked. He gave me food for my stomach, a roof over my head, and a warm body to sleep next to each night. It didn't hurt with him like it did with my step-father and step-brother. He taught me that sex could feel good sometimes. It didn't have to be brutal or leave bruises...it could even make your toes curl when done right. It was very naïve of me to trust this man, this stranger who appeared in my life, who was years older than me-at least it was better than sleeping next to a dumpster. Without him who knows what would have happened to me, and therefore when he told me who he really was, I accepted it and became whatever he needed me to be.

He brought me to L.A., and the rest they say is history.

The years I worked for Alec brought many hard life lessons. Because I was so young, and because the world is a very fucked up place for young girls who don't have stability, he used me to bring in the money. We made so much fucking money, anything I wanted Alec would get. All I had to do was use my body and be a good girl. I was his secret weapon, bringing in sometimes two grand every night. He never let me out of his sight and I was grateful for that because I'd grown dependent on him to always be there. No one ever hurt me because they knew Alec would kill them. I'd seen him take a life or two...scariest shit you can ever witness. None of that mattered though, I loved him and I would do anything for him.