Realize (COMPLETED)

8.

LM

I left the house with every intention of going to the market to pick up some things for dinner tonight and the next few days. I know Jennie eats junk food so I would like to introduce some fresh fruits and vegetables into her diet.

It would be good for the baby, I think.

I don't know much about pregnant women or what a pregnancy entails, but I do know it will do her some good to get some nutritious food in her system. That and a bar of soap for her potty mouth.

I hated to leave Jennie tied up like that and it will continue to eat at me until I get back home. This arrangement is rocky I'll admit, but I have faith that she'll come around when she understands. She's not used to being taken care of and all I have to say about that is, too bad. Maybe within a few weeks she'll come around and I hope by then she feels more comfortable in my presence. She might even open up and tell me about herself.

There's so much I want to know.

Each time I look at her I've formed a new question to add to the laundry list of other questions I want to ask. It's become borderline obsessive. Not obsessive in a psycho way, although I know my actions as of late say otherwise, but in the way that if I don't receive answers soon I'm going to grab her by the shoulders and shake them out of her. Surely, I want to know her likes and dislikes. I want to know her favorite color, her favorite movie, her favorite television show. What she likes to eat, what she can't stand to eat because of her pregnancy. Where she comes from, her family, and above all I want to know why the fuck she's selling her body. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, really I do. I'm not saying that prostitutes are bad people, but I guess I just don't understand how any person can willingly give themselves to strangers for money. What could have happened to make them decide one day that it was the kind of life they wanted to live?

Jennie is so young, and her attitude is that of a young girl who believes she has life figured out. Does she even understand the severity of her actions? Especially in the condition that she's currently in, I shudder to think of all the men who have touched her body and could care less that she's pregnant.

I peruse isle after isle of the small market filling up my shopping cart with things that look appealing. I'm a pretty decent cook and I think Jennie will be pleasantly surprised by my culinary skills. The shit I plan to wow her with I bet she's never heard of. My Italian roots have afforded me the ability to cook the kind of food that may be simple, but has flavor out of this world. As I grab an eggplant and put it into the cart my cell vibrates in my back pocket.

"Rose." I answer.

"Hey Lisa, I'm almost at your house." She sang.

What! oh shit!

"No, didn't mom call you!"

"She called but I missed it. Why, what's going on?"

"Uh, I spoke with her earlier about putting a hold on you guys redecorating the rooms. She told me she would pass the message on to you. Why the hell didn't you answer?" Mom's call might have been serious and she decided to ignore it? It's odd that Rose would disregard a call from mom like that.

"Lalisa Manoban we've been preparing for months!" I hate when she uses my whole name like that.

"I'm sorry Ro. I know how much you and mom have been planning, but I just feel like this isn't the right time."

"We talked about this Lisa; you have to move on from Niki. She's gone. Harboring her memory isn't healthy."

We have talked, extensively, over the last two years about my needing to move on. I understand my family's concerns; I have fucking heard them all and frankly it's starting to piss me off. Rose especially runs her mouth at every chance, putting her two cents in when she has absolutely no idea what I'm going through.