Realize (COMPLETED)

17.

Lisa

My eyes drift open, adjusting to the ceiling as sunlight filters in, making it hard to focus. I must have forgotten to close the curtains before crawling into bed last night. My body feels restless, tangled in sheets from a night of tossing and turning. I had an unsettling dream.

It was about my wife.

Let me try to explain this without sounding crazy. Since Niki passed, she visits me in my dreams. Every time, she's wearing her favorite pink silk dress—the one that draped over her shoulders and hugged every curve just right. She loved that dress. I bought it for her on our third anniversary, and she wore it whenever she had the chance. When she passed, I couldn't bear to part her from it, so I had her buried in it. That way, it would stay with her forever.

Normally, when I dream of her, she comes to me with a peaceful smile. We talk, we laugh, and she always promises to return soon before saying goodbye. But this time, things were different.

She didn't smile when she appeared, slipping into bed beside me. She didn't touch me. She barely even looked at me.

"Niki, what's wrong?"

Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself, as though holding her body together. "You're replacing me, Lisa," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"What? I don't understand."

"Jennie. You're replacing me with Jennie."

"No—"

"Yes, you are!" she snapped, covering her face with trembling hands as tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Niki—"

"It's okay to love her, Lisa," she interrupted, her voice breaking. "I'm not here anymore. I made my choice to leave you."

Her words struck me like a blow, twisting my heart painfully. When she lowered her hands and her beautiful eyes met mine, I saw the guilt in them, raw and undeniable.

Reaching out, she brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. Her touch was so tender it brought tears to my eyes. "I know how you feel about her," she whispered. "She needs you, Lisa. Her baby needs you too. Don't give up on her, no matter how much she pushes you away... You never gave up on me. And I love you so much for that."

I pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly against my chest, desperate to keep her close. "I don't know what to do anymore," I choked out. "I don't want to lose her."

"Then show her, Lisa... show her." Her voice was soft, almost fading. "I love you."

Before I could ask her what she meant, she disappeared, slipping away like a wisp of smoke.

She didn't tell me if she'd be back.

I don't know what to do anymore. This whole Jennie situation has gotten under my skin more than I ever thought it would. After our fight last night, I was so drained that I went straight to my room. I don't even know when Rosie left, and—dammit—I forgot to lock Jennie's bedroom door.

If she ran away, I wouldn't even be surprised. Honestly, this feels like a lost cause...

It's like we're both fighting for control, and it's just not working. I give, and she takes, with zero regard for how I feel. The moment I manage to take two steps forward, she knocks me back five with one swift kick.

It's so... UGH!

But really, what did I expect? What did I think I was going to accomplish with all this?