Realize (COMPLETED)

33.

JK

"No."

"Come on."

"NO!"

"But-"

"What part don't you understand, the N or the O?" I glare at the dumb grin on Lucas face.

"You're such a pooper." He chortled flicking at my ear.

"I'm not going fucking cliff diving you jerk! Leave me alone before I kick you in the nuts!"

"I love it when you talk dirty." He shivered playfully.

"Come on you filthy puppy." I pull on the front of his shirt and he follows me, wagging his tongue. I swat at his face and he dodges it running around me in circles, he then falls in step beside me.

Lucas looked profoundly comfortable in his skin...He didn't slow down or survey his surroundings like I find myself doing; his eyes are set straight with his head held high and a bright smile. This guy is pretty fucking cool and his youth is refreshing. Ok, so he's only a year younger than me, but it's exhilarating to be around someone who has yet to be tainted by the bad in his world – he's still very much a kid at heart. His life growing up afforded him with the kind of upbringing that was shut off from the rest of the world. He didn't own a television and didn't know much about life outside of his hometown, so it was a bit of a shock once he went off to college and it's still a bit hard for him. How lucky he is that the only challenge in his life is not fitting in with a society he's never known. Meanwhile the rest of us are struggling to bury our pasts that society shuns...I've had to be a grown up for a huge chunk of my life but with Lucas it's the opposite – I can be a big kid and not give a damn what anyone thinks. When I'm with him I don't have to care, I can just live in the now. It also doesn't help that he's tooth achingly sweet.

It's a beautiful rainless day today. I don't have my license yet so I walk to and from work. No big deal, I have my trusty umbrella to keep me from looking like a drowned rat, and if it's too bad outside my dad will drop me off and pick me up. Recently Lucas has been waiting for me after work and he gives me a lift in exchange for dinner. Today is an exception since it's the first nice, warm day Beaverton has had so far. It automatically puts me in a good mood and I forget that my feet are killing me. When there's an occasional day the sun makes an appearance and the sky clears up, you soak it in as much as possible.

It's also a reminder that I have limited time with Lucas since he'll be going back to school in a few short weeks. I was surprised he told me he was leaving, you know with his father being in a wheel chair and having a hard time adjusting to being paralyzed from the waist down. People from his neighborhood have pitched in to do some remodeling to the house to make it more accessible for his dad – although he's having issues Seunghyn is proud. He wants Lucas to go back to school and finish his education and he won't take no for an answer. It puts Lucas' mind at ease that the community he's grown up in will pitch in and make sure old Seunghyn is well taken care of while he's away at school.

In turn, Lucas will travel down each weekend to spend time with his dad...It seems he has everything figured out. I know it will be hard for him, but he's a tough guy, he'll get through it.

I wish I had my life together like that.

"So, Saturday I'm going to my friend Ten's house for the 4th, you in?" He asked, throwing his heavy arm over my shoulders.

"I'll have to see what my dad and Sara are doing."

"I think he's hanging out with CL."

"Oh, well I guess I'll be there then." I'm a little apprehensive – large crowds aren't really my thing anymore.