Realize (COMPLETED)

27.

LM

I've had several moments in my life that have left a huge, lasting impact; moving to LA, going to college, meeting Niki for the first time, losing Niki so soon, meeting Jennie...kidnapping Jennie.

You catch my drift.

This moment, the one I was able to see right in front of my eyes has changed me forever.

I'm so overcome with joy I could burst at the seams. I witnessed the most amazing thing and I don't care what anyone thinks; it was beautiful. To see a child being born, you have to count yourself as lucky to have been a part of something as momentous as that. It scared the hell out of me to see Jennie in so much pain. I expected her to react much worse than she had...In fact she was oddly calm, even in the throes of painful contractions she kept her cool. I think I fell more in love with her when she grabbed my hand and allowed me to be her anchor. Watching as she brought her daughter out of the water and onto her chest...The tears were falling before I could even register that they had streamed down my face and soaked my shirt. Jennie, my strong, powerful, beautiful Jennie had put her differences aside and held her child, and I could do nothing but watch in awe as she explored the baby's skin with her fingers. She wept real tears, overwhelmed I'm sure by the gravity of the situation...She was someone's mother whether she wanted to be or not.

I pray that she wants to be.

We were very ill prepared for all of this. The snowstorm really threw us for a loop. I think in some ways we were all afraid that something would go wrong, either with Jennie or the storm knocking out the power; anything could have happened. For twelve hours I was uncertain if we could do this. If it weren't for mom and dad I'm sure I would be bald right about now from pulling out all of my hair. My scalp is sore from all the tugging I did while Jennie was in labor. I don't think I've ever been so stressed.

Now as I stare down at the tiny baby in my arms, nothing else matters. Fuck the storm, it could snow thirty feet and I wouldn't care...I have everything I'll ever need right here.

"She's so beautiful." Mom gazed into my arms. The baby was sleeping nestled against my chest.

"She is."

"She'll need to eat soon."

"How? We have no bottles or formula."

"Do you think perhaps Jennie would breastfeed her?"

"Oh, I don't know." Jennie has been resting for the past hour or so. I laid with her, even falling asleep for a few minutes before waking up to see her sleeping peacefully. Rose and Jisoo have been checking in with her often, but there hasn't been much of a change.

"It wouldn't hurt to try. I know she really doesn't want anything to do with her, but she's not so heartless to let her starve."

"I'll come with you to help." Mom said.

I would imagine she wouldn't be that cold, even if she doesn't want her, I'm sure she doesn't want anything to happen to her. As if the baby knew what we were talking about she began to fuss. I carried her up the stairs to the bedroom with mom in tow. Surprisingly, Jennie was awake when I pushed open the door. She was propped up against the headboard staring out of the window.

"Jennie?" I called for her, but she didn't answer. "Jennie?" This time she turned her head. Her eyes automatically move to my arms. I sat on the bed beside her.

"The baby has to eat. She's hungry and we have nothing here to feed her." I move to hand her the fussy bundle, but Jennie shrank away.

"I can't." She whimpered.