Taking slow, deep breaths, I peered down at the pattern that had been engraved deep into the skin of my wrist, so deep that it was a piece of my DNA. It was painful for me to admit but it was beautiful, a tiny set of piano keys that descended into a...
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Chapter 20 - Our undoing
All alone in his dorm, he would have described it as more like a cardboard box but who was he to complain, Yoongi couldn't help but sigh hopelessly. The darkness in his room was daunting, teasing as it seemed to look over him, almost as if it were going to suffocate him. Never before had he felt so down, like the entire world had turned it's back on him. Every-time his brain tried to make him think about me, Yoongi would pinch his arm and distract himself with the pain, his arm soon filled with small bruises from the brute force he was using on himself.
"What's even the point anymore." Yoongi mumbled to himself as he stood in front of the only window in the dorm, looking down at the fountain that was situated in front of the view. Though small, Yoongi felt like he was incredibly lucky to have bagged that dorm, simply because of the beautiful view of the landscape of the college. It was truly enchanting, the way that it held the power to make Yoongi feel serene and peaceful. But only for so long.
Breaking Yoongi from his own self-deprecating thoughts, a loud notification broke the utter silence and the pale boy instantly leapt onto his phone, a gut feeling telling him that it was from me. The joy and hope laced in his dark irises slowly died away as he read what I had to say, teeth nibbling on his plump bottom lip anxiously. No matter how many times he looked over the text, the words just refused to register in his brain, all becoming just one big mess. Only one thing was clear, I was done with him.
"No-o." He whispered in disbelief, voice cracking, filled with a heavy weight of emotion that Yoongi didn't bother to decipher. The phone in his hand was nearly crushed by the death grip he had on it, not let up until a knock on his door shocked him, causing him to drop the phone and rush to open it. Who could it have been at that time on a night - well, early morning.
The door pulled back and revealed her to be standing there, a worried look on her face as she wrapped her arms around Yoongi's neck in relief. Shocked by as to why Carla was there, Yoongi didn't react to her embrace straight away but slowly melted into it, holding back his tears as he didn't want to explain what had happened. As though she could sense that something wasn't right, she pulled away and cupped his face in her palms, searching his face as if the answer to her unspoken questions would be lying there. Yoongi didn't have the strength to pull away from her as he needed to.
"Are you okay? I literally felt your heart shatter, what's going on?" Carla fretted, eyes wide and lips pursed in anxiousness. Yoongi didn't want to answer, he really didn't. Never did he ever want to show anyone how weak he was for me but then again, not showing me how he felt had become our undoing so maybe that was the problem in the first place, that being Yoongi's reluctance to show his true feelings.
"I-I'm fine." Yoongi whispered shakily, not convincing Carla at all, making her even more frightened than she was before she had arrived. The grip she had on his cheeks was like the one he had had on his phone only minutes prior, almost squeezing his brains. A major migraine was brewing like a storm right in the front of Yoongi's head, making him feel dizzy and sick, slightly swaying as though he was going to faint any second. "Just not feeling too good." He added.
The mark on Carla's neck peeped out of the collar of her shirt, the tip of the bird's wing disappearing up and across her collarbone. It was a reminder of everything that had happened in the short time he had been at the school, the events that he had been hiding from me and lying about.
"I-It's about her, isn't it? Your original?" Carla mumbled, not quite looking into Yoongi's eyes and biting her lip nervously. Talking about mine and Yoongi's relationship always created a void between them, a sort of awkwardness at the fact that they had been going behind my back when in reality, I was supposed to be the only person that Yoongi should love. Their relationship would be frowned on by a lot, seeing as the both of them already had soulmates and were being pulled by an alternate force.
"I-I...Yeah, it's about Sophie," Yoongi began, not really knowing how to approach the situation. The way that Carla flinched at the mention of my name made Yoongi feel guilty. It was mostly his fault. "she just called things off with me, telling me that she doesn't want to see me again." The atmosphere quickly changed, anxiousness spreading between the two of them. Carla knew that Yoongi would always love me more than he did her which was why a warmth spread across her chest when he told her the news, selfishly happy that she would finally have him all to herself, even if she didn't want him.
"How do you feel about it, her ending things I mean? You must feel awful, I do, and I can't help but feel like it's all my fault in a way. If i'd have just left you alone that day then none of this would have ever happened." Carla sighed, letting go of Yoongi's face and moving away from him, leaving her hands awkwardly by her sides as she didn't know what to do with them. She'd never been very good with how she felt and Yoongi knew that even though he barely knew her, a distant feeling in his gut that could only be manifested by the 'second chance' bond they had somehow formed.
"I don't know how I feel to be honest and don't blame yourself, it's my fault for keeping it from her." He'd replied, wiping his face with the palm of his hands.
"Do you regret meeting me sometimes? Like, do you ever wonder how you'd be living if I never approached you?" Carla asked hesitantly, causing Yoongi's breath to catch in his throat. How could he not think about it? It was one of the things that kept him up on a night.
"Do you?" Yoongi decided to reply, dodging the question by asking for her view on things first. It was the best choice to avoid any further arguments or conflict between anyone else. It was beginning to get to Yoongi that he had ruined a relationship that could've become everything he ever needed.
A short laugh came from Carla as she had expected him to answer that way.
"All the time, obviously. I have someone that i'm happy with so why the hell would I have needed a second chance? Makes me wonder if something is going to go wrong in the future. Basically, we're backups for in case something doesn't go right with our current situations." Carla snickered softly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. They didn't know what was happening between them but knew that they weren't in love.
"You've ruined my life and everything that I could've had." Yoongi chuckled as he sat down on the end of his bed, pushing his hair away from his forehead and hanging his head down.
