Life of Max ✔️

Nine

MAX

"Open relationships," I mutter to myself as I type the words into Google on my computer.

Harry is gone, he's probably out having dinner or something, so I'm free to hotbox our room and use Google as my only advisor, as one does when one have an issue, and don't know who else to ask.

I would strongly advise against using Google if you're sick, though. With just a cough or a pain in your left pinky-toe you could end up fearing for your life, since Google tells you that there's a  good chance you have cancer, or something even more ominous or life-threatening. I'm so fucking happy I don't have any terminal illnesses, now that I think about it. That shit must be horrible.

I don't search for diseases anymore, either.

I look at the results for my search, and it's definitely a lot of different opinions already. I click myself in to some forums to see people discussing pros and cons of having an open relationship.

I'm not sure why I'm searching for this, but I just wanted to know. At least that's what I tell myself.

One user says that their relationship has improved so much after opening it up, while another says it ended because the other part thought "open relationship" meant "having more than one girlfriend". I scrunch my nose a little. Isn't it having more than one partner?

I continue reading until I see someone saying that open relationships can mean many different things, depending on the agreement between the people in the relationship.

I've never read, thought of or heard the word "relationship" so many times in less than ten minutes before, and I think I'm losing my mind.

What the hell am I doing?

I light up my blunt once again, and inhale the delicious MJ. Maybe that will help me think straight.

I go back to the results and scroll a little, and I don't think I even know what I'm looking for.

There's a lot of people saying it can work, and a lot of other people saying your relationship is doomed if you try it. It's not exactly what I wanted to know about. I think my goal was more to figure out if it's wrong or not to keep sleeping with a girl, when I know she has a boyfriend, even though they have an open relationship. Or, semi-open? It doesn't seem like Haley wants Aiden to go home with anyone, and he seems okay with that.

Maybe she's possessive of him too, not just me.

Then I think about that again. She acted like she wanted me all to herself last night. It was crazy. Well, until I ruined it by worrying her about Aiden for nothing. He was on his way outside to reject Hannah when I killed the mood. Or, I kind of set it for the two of them.

They left together after that, and I didn't linger very long either. I just got back home and hopped into bed. Harry got home alone a few hours later, luckily. I don't know if I could have handled listening to him and some dude having fun while I was rejected. Again.

I take another long drag of the joint, and close my eyes as I exhale the smoke.

I don't think I was rejected. I didn't even want to do anything, since I'm not sure if I can. Morally speaking. Shit, what a damn mess I've become. I've changed a lot these past months, and I' not sure if it's for better or worse.

I stare at my computer screen, before I sigh in annoyance. I don't know what the fuck I'm trying to accomplish by searching for this shit. I'm just a frustrated mess of confusion. Again.

This is pointless.

I close the lid on my laptop, and push it down onto the floor, not caring at all if it breaks. I can just get a new one.. I sigh a little as I lay down on my bed, and make it my mission to smoke the rest of the weed I have in my possession.