Life of Max ✔️

Twenty-eight

MAX

Haley found my coke. So I met with Jake this morning and got some more. I won't take any huge amounts before seeing her, though, since she can totally see it in my eyes. I'll just continue with my "nose scratching".

She'll probably see right through that, too, so I'll try to keep it to a minimum until Sunday, when she gives it back to me. Hopefully. I'm gonna try not to do too much until then, but I have to have the opportunity at least. If not, I'm gonna go crazy. I just know it. I was stupid to think I could ever hide something like that from her in the first place. She's way too smart.. Ugh.

I'm walking across campus with my hands in my pockets. I have smoked more weed than usual this morning, just to try to keep myself from doing coke. It feels odd. It's like I'm craving it, like I can't go on without it, because my body wants it so bad to stay in control. But I'm not an addict. I'm not a druggie.

I sigh as I spot Aiden on the other side of the large square that is our campus grounds. He's in a conversation with some other people, and I pull my hood up to make sure he doesn't see me, as I enter the cafeteria. I don't need another speech on how stupid I am to be using cocaine. Or, abusing, as they would call it. But that's not what I'm doing.

I put my thumb into the packet of white powder in my pocket, and hesitate for a little..

Fuck it.

I pull my thumb out again and wipe the small amount of the drug away on my jeans, before I get in line to get something to eat. Pizza sounds good right now. I actually have an appetite today, and I'm not sure where it's coming from, but I sure know that I'll be doing my best to keep it that way. Maybe it's because I've smoked so much weed.

I'm speculating a lot inside my head, now that I'm not that high. I'm definitely baked, though, I can feel my body relax and slump a little as I walk up to the lady behind the counter, and I smile lopsidedly at her and tell her what I want.

I pay and get my slice of pizza, and then I spot Brad sitting on a table a little away.

I miss Brad. He deserves to know what's going on with me. He's my best friend after all.

I send him a grin as he meets my eyes, and he stands up with his arms stretched out for me. I place my plate down on the table, before walking into his arms. He hugs me tightly, and not at all awkwardly, like it often is between two men, but he seems really happy that I'm here.

We pull away, and I flip a chair around so I can sit down with him and eat my pizza.

"You look like shit, dude," Brad says, still grinning at me, after he's sat himself down next to me.

"Thanks," I mutter, and roll my eyes.

I take a bite out of the pizza, and still smile at him, telling him silently that I know I look worse than ever.

"How are you?" he asks, worry laced in his voice.

I haven't really talked to him about anything since we all found out that I do have the stupid gene that's gonna kill me eventually.

"I'm okay, sort of," I say, shrugging.

My eyes goes over to the people he was sitting with, that I don't know at all, but they seem to have been engaged in a conversation on their own.

"You sure?" he questions, and furrows his brows at me.

"Not really," I say, and look at him again. "I've been really fucking stupid, Brad."

"Tell me something I don't know," he says, chuckling a little, before he looks at me again. I'm sure he's trying to figure out what's been going on these past few weeks. "Why are you stupid now, though?"